Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “This is bullshit,” he said. ”If only that was a coin, I’d be up a grand!” Sam Ellis has just been hard done by and this time - he thinks it’s petsonal. The 24-year-Old has just been screwed over by a pokie machine he though that was his friend but as it turns out, he was working...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Popular southern bar magnate Justin Hemmes is allegedly in talks with the owners of The Cashew & Pogostick Hotel in Betoota's Old City District - a move that has outraged locals. Many of the pub's patrons have voiced their disgust at the proposed sale, telling The Advocate that Hemmes is a 'pub wrecker' and that 'all...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In a recent drunken rant, Betoota local Richard Kelly (34) revealed that he hasn’t gotten laid in quite some time, a fact many have found surprising considering he has a ‘lipstick kiss’ tattooed on his neck. During a night of drinking with a group that has been described as “The Boys,” Kelly, after allegedly ingesting 21 bottles of Hahn Super...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact It has been confirmed today that Phil Thomas reckons he is pretty fucking good at touch footy. “Yeah I go alright champ,” he told The Advocate. The local accountant in The French Quarter laces on the boots every Monday night to light up his social mixed touch comp. The ex-Dolphins reserve grade winger rates himself as a speedster, a bit...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the night was coming to a close at the Dolphins Leagues Club in South Betoota, two toey humans decided the night wasn't over for them - they had to keep drinking. As the popular nightspot is quite isolated, Larry Pidgeon and Brett Frog decided to call an Uber. Except Larry, a 24-year-old local diesel fitter,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet Reporter | Contact Sarah Harris likes to let her hair down. She likes to enjoy a drink. She likes to have a good time. She likes it when work picks up the bill, to thank her for working 10-12 hour days all year for the firm. However, more than all of these things - Sarah likes to feel safe. So ahead...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact When John Wilmott was 14, his older brother Mark was sent home from school for the last time. He was only months away from sitting his final high school exams when he was caught smoking and drinking alone on school grounds. Rather than provide counselling or even a swift, over-the-top punishment regime, his boarding school came...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though money is tight and festive cheer is at an all-time low, a troupe of local students have attempted to bring joy into their filthy home by erecting a humble Christmas tree. But one man's humble is another man's pathetic. Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Macy Peterson, a second-year graphic design student at South Betoota...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A link between the Volkswagen Golf and young women from affluent households has been discovered in a recent report published by theHousehold Wealth Index (HWI). Parts of the study suggests most Volkswagen Golfs adorned with red P-Plates are registered to an address in Betoota Grove - the traditional LNP heartland of town and epicentre of wealth.  The findings released...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "These people are animals," he said. "I can't it any longer, I'm moving out." Peter the Cockroach only moved into the homely but ultimately unlivable Betoota Heights townhouse in October - but even an insect as notoriously filthy as he is cannot stand the mess. Three residents will be left at the Maxwell Road address when the 3-week-old...