Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just in time for Christmas, esteemed Scottish-born celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has released a new cookbook aimed at building the confidence of those who are 'still a bit intimidated' by their kitchen, according to his publisher. Fast Food For Fucking Donkeys, is slated to be released in coming weeks and Ramsey himself is set to...

GREG SANDERS | Culture | Contact His colleagues think he's funny but it seems Sam Madden is about to that things too far. The 31-year-old is lucky enough to work at local public relations firm, PorterNovelli South Betoota, twice voted the best place to work if you are dead on the inside. One of the firm's biggest drawcards is their 'great work culture'...

PETER SANDSHOE | Socials | Contact Telling The Advocate that he slept like a Stalingrad sentry last night, Sandy Dorematte said he needs some red meat and a good night sleep more than a night on the tiles. At a quarter to two this morning, the 29-year-old was playing BuckHunter in the Games Room of the Betoota Dolphins Club with a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local dad has had to combine both of his responsibilities today in an effort to keep everyone happy. The first promise, which was made almost a week ago, to his mates - as well as his obligation to his young family - have been smushed together a local pub this afternoon. "It's called compromise" he says to our reporters. "The...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A South Betoota man who is a fair nudge above-average-height has essentially just been told that he's a sure bet tonight, if he's keen. Despite having about as much personality as a broken Obike, the 29-year-old data analyst has been accosted by several friends of a tall chick. "Hey where are you from?" asks shorter friend number 1. "Are you with...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Nobody wrote back to his 2 pm message asking if anybody was about for beers this afternoon, so Chris Masters took matters into his own hands. The 29-year-old bachelor clocked out from his Old City district bespoke, boutique public relations agency at around 3 pm and walked straight into SportsQuest Bar & Grill on the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It is not lost on the teachers at South Betoota primary that the Andersen kids have been constantly yawning throughout the school day, after four 9:30pm sheperd's pie dinners in a row. The current dysfunctionality of their household has become so obvious that the school principal has gone as far as calling their oldest child to her office for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Barrelling down Adelaide Street in the heart of Betoota's Financial District, a top-heavy auditor meandered down the footpath back to the office like mighty Ord River flows into the Timor Sea. Graham Washbrook has a sweat on. He's just been down the road at the local Chinese, were he threw caution to the wind and hoovered a Chicken Chow Mein and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A low-key, completely supervised, midweek social mixer is expected to become a full blown orgy tonight, that's judging by a local school leavers discreet purchase at a out-of-the-way supermarket this afternoon. Betoota teenager Ed Coorey (17) has full intentions of using every single one of the 24 ultra-thin latex condoms he just bought, which have since been stashed inside...

PETRA GAUDOUX | Summer Cadet | Contact Despite only being halfway through the second financial quarter, an office person has begun blaming his out-of-character behaviour on it being the silly season. Journalistically, the silly season is a period, usually during the summertime, when news media tend to place increased emphasis on reporting light-hearted, offbeat, or bizarre stories. However, in recent times, that has grown...