Local News

Unconditionally Loyal Mates Lie And Say He Doesn’t Deserve What She’s Done To Him

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Central Betoota was the sight of an enormous gesture of friendship today as loyal mates of Riley Burrows (29) came forward to support him after his girlfriend Lydia Varney (30), made the right decision and left him earlier today. “That’s fucked,” Burrow’s mate Braden Gillespie (28) responded on the group chat, despite the fact he clearly understands why. “Lyds...

Confusion As Local Friend Actually Wasn’t Joking About Being Vegetarian Now

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Wanda Mardy asked for her guest's dietary requirements a week out from her weekend lunch jamboree at her parent's heritage-listed Betoota Heights Queenslander. What she received back in the post raised not one - but both eyebrows. "Wow," she said softly. "There's a lot of vegetarians this year. Christ, there's a pescatarian. What the hell is that? Perhaps Dad shouldn't have...

Can’t Help But Laugh! Local Boss Expects Bloke To Answer Phone On Saturday

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The days he spent behind a bar and picking up glasses is behind him - so too is the expectation for him to work on the weekend. Taking time out of his idle Saturday afternoon to speak candidly to The Advocate, Conor Dalhasse said his boss rang this morning about 9 and all he could...

First-Year Ringer Foolishly Tells Station Pilot It’s His First Time In A Chopper

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Known around the area for his quiet, simple and stoic disposition, Micheal Rex made a classic mistake many first-year station hands make this afternoon - he got a lift back to the homestead with the chopper pilot moments after telling him it was his first time up in one. The 19-year-old said he'd never been so scared in his...

Endorphin Levels Explode Inside Man’s Brain As He Runs For Train – And Makes It

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Thanks to repeated budget cuts and staff layoffs, the service on the Betoota MetroLine has continued to slip. Which is why many people like Ahmed Pendergast feel compelled to run to catch a train if they see one, rather than wait for the next service and spare themselves the embarrassment of running in public. But it...

Pub Regulars Agree They Should At Least Cross The Street Before Lighting Up Dirty Bunger

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bunch of old boys that have settled in for an afternoon session at the Lord Kidman Hotel in Betoota have started to get that tingling feeling they used to get every weekend in the 70s. Upon learning that one of the old fellas, Roy, has a little bit of Riverina Rollie stashed in his coat, the old codgers...

“Europe, With Her”: Man Vomits Into Mouth Reading Title Of Friend’s Latest Facebook Photo Album

MILES PONCHO | Media et al | Contact "Give me a fucking break," he said. "That'll just about do me, it will. I've seen enough." Those are the sentiments of Ben Geurie, a South Betoota town planner who's bared witness to his school mate's relationship with another local girl hit a big milestone - the first holiday together. Taking off just last week, Brett Hannaman...

Flashbacks Of Conversation With Boss Yesterday Riddle Local Man With Anxiety

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though he can remember talking to his boss yesterday, Dylan Potter can't remember what they talked about. Recently, the 26-year-old property manager has been thinking about his future more and where he'd like to be in five years time. Those thoughts were prompted by a discussion last week he had with his boss, who asked him where he saw himself...

Understaffed Bank Branch Not Even Trying With The Refreshments

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The twenty or so people backed up in the waiting area of a local DMB branch have today realised how unimportant they are in the minds of their chosen financial institution. Diamantina Maranoa Bank is well known across the greater Betoota regiona as one of the few banks that assume every single one of their customers has the time...

Man Catches Himself Thinking About His Dog Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For the fourth time this morning, a beloved local dentist has paused to think about his pawed best friend at home all alone. Dr Dennis Waugh walked out of his French Quarter medical practice late this morning to enjoy a brisk walk around the block in between patients, when he suddenly caught himself thinking about his placid three-year-old Golden...

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