Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It doesn't matter if you've got no primary production experience at all; it doesn't matter if you've got 50 years under your belt. The final obstacle to beating the hotly anticipated video game, Farming Simulator 18, will be a challenge to all that reach it. It's not stagnant wool prices or a kneejerk Labor snap ban...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Visiting his parent's leafy Betoota Heights home for dinner last night, Charlton Grosvenor thought he heard his father say 'blockchain' in passing conversation - so he asked him to repeat himself. "What did you just say, Dad?" When Ralf Grosvenor clarified what he said, the 26-year-old's world began to shake. Scoffing down the rest of his rare...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Wondering why he can't seem to save a cent of his weekly pay packet, a popular 26-year-old hotel manager has revealed to The Advocate that his poor financial literacy goes back a long way. Back to 1999 in fact. Gregor Redpath told our reporters that he frequently found it difficult to difficult to balance his Sim...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Eating his Special K with an overly ripe banana throw on top, Michael Cleary was first shocked by the allegations levelled at Don Burke - but ultimately he decided that he wasn't surprised. The nation woke this morning to a string of sexual harassment, assault and misconduct accusations put on the former star of Burke's...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The Keep Sydney Closed campaign has drawn massive support from the general public in the wake of a trendy inner-city burger bar reportedly playing the same Wu-Tang Clan song for the 412th time in a row. Urban Burg opened their doors three months ago after owner Buster Krick (34) realised there was not an American style burger chain...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In what was a dramatic race, it has since been confirmed the hugger beat the handshaker to the greeting, in a meeting between two people who only kind of know each other. While both sides showed promise early on, the outstretched arms of hugger Lauren Smith, trumped the tentative centred hand of shaker Alex Barnes who was quickly...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Why did I do law? Why didn't I do something I enjoy?" The answer to that is local law clerk Louise Degally didn't want to die poor. But after taking a clerkship with one of Betoota's big six law firms, it seems that not even all the riches in town are enough to buy her soul. "They keep cornering me, trying to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Hey, I've got a book for you." In just a matter of hours, Martin Fox has added a layer of complexity and depth to his personality that only a keen interest in literature can. Gone is the old Martin, the one that 'woops' and 'hollers' like a cheering American. He's been replaced by a placid, quiet and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A couple of Zimbabwean migrants currently residing in North Betoota's new luxury housing estate have rattled several neighbours at a Christmas street party this afternoon. This comes after the news that Robert Mugabe resigned as Zimbabwe's president on Tuesday, a week after the army and his former political allies moved to end his four decades of rule. Andrew and Peta Smith landed...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Not even his partner-of-four-years is safe from Dale Packham's method of organising his phone contacts. Speaking to The Advocate this morning about the contents of his mobile telephone, the 27-year-old builder said it got too complicated having every 'fuck head architect' and 'dumb cunt concreter' save in his phone with their real names. So he came up with his own...