Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Glenn Gilmore invited our reporters into his Betoota Grove serviced apartment this morning to set the record straight. His third wife Margaret sets cucumber sandwiches down on the dining room table in front of us and adds milk to everyone's tea without asking first. "We don't have it in for the QUILTBAG  community," said Glenn. "Marriage to...

ELLIE LONGBEACH | Home | Contact Drop everything, everyone! Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, a local buyers agent said he was 'absolutely exhausted' this afternoon and couldn't wait to get home. Sam Cleary said he'd had a big weekend and that today he's really feeling it. "Had a coffee at 3 pm," he said. "And I didn't have an essay due or...

SUSHIL SHARMA | Local Crime | Contact If you were to ask Sharnee Wilson if Taylor Sherk has been running her mouth about her all over town, you'd get a resounding yes. Ask Taylor Sherk the same question about Sharnee and you'd get the same answer. Until recently, the feud brewing between the brooding pair has remained between them and their closest friends as the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It's hardly news but Australia's peak scientific body, the CSIRO, is launching a study into why cats do the things they do that make us sad. Spurred on by a recent episode with his feline life companion, CSIRO researcher Gavin Pooley decided to get to the bottom of why his cat seems to do things solely out of spite. "For the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There was a point in time when Mark Donald cared about his clients. That time was a long time ago. As his caseload increases with each new day, he sees his youth dissolve into Friday and Saturday nights spent with either his friends from the office or old friends from high school. Everyone seems to be doing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite there not being a bass guitar on stage, a local concert-goer took it upon himself last night to wander over to the sound technician to tell him to turn the bass up. Trying desperately to catch the soundies eye during the third song, Hamish Madden told The Advocate that he couldn't just stand there...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular Betoota Ponds golden retriever has reportedly stopped a local thunderstorm this afternoon by barking at it. With each boom and crash of the passing tempest, Brett, the 11-year-old canine in question responded with an equally as loud bark. A short time later, the clouds began to disperse over town and the surrounding area was...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Unable to go hiking until now, one local accountant almost completely devoid of a personality received his new Patagonia tee shirt today in the mail - which means he now has everything he needs to tackle the great outdoors. "I don't know which local trail I want to hike first!" gleamed Peter Hutchinson, 29. Moments before, the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Stephen Kovari has had an absolute cunt of a yesterday. Speaking to The Advocate from his humble Betoota Ponds studio apartment, the 36-year-old salesperson said everything could go wrong did go wrong, before paraphrasing the rest of the song's more offensive lyrics. First, his boss called him into his office first thing. "We all need to tighten our belts here," said...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local 20-year-old bloke could be making a move on either side of the law at this rate, judging by how rigged he has gotten over the last year or so. His recent purchases of heaps of cool news clothes and upgraded taste in dark spirits also leads one think that he has a pretty safe job lined...