Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For a number of years, the residents of the leafy East Betootanese enclave of Betoota Links have enjoyed the unbridled privilege on not knowing they even had it. But according to local police, some of that privilege has ended. From last night, police from the East Betoota command began roadside testing for cocaine - as well as...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Outspoken right-wing commentator Andrew Bolt has been chased through the streets of Melbourne this afternoon by a gang of anti-fascist thugs hell bent on glitter-bombing him again. But Bolt wouldn't have a bar of it. Rather than let the gutter-dwelling communists catch him unawares, the barrel-chested South Australian tried his level best to outrun his assailants. After a running gun battle through...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Being one of KBBL Betoota Imparja's breakfast television presenters is a rare privilege bestowed upon a chosen few - one of those being Brett Gallway. Each morning, the 49-year-old rises early and runs for an hour around Barcoo Park in the South Betoota, exclusive, leafy enclave of Danish Town while he listens to podcasts. Arriving home in time...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Greg Klimt is a self-described simple man. He enjoys supporting his beloved Dolphins and maintains a diet almost completely devoid of fruit and vegetables. "I don't like them, I like smokey BBQ sauce and potato gems for tea," he said. "Wash 'em down with a Betoota Bitter tin and a hearty bowl of Viennetta dessert cake. That's how...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After failing to get into her favourite sandstone university, Emma Hutchins thought she might as well give up on becoming anything worthwhile - her dreams of changing the world as a young lawyer were dashed before they even began. That was until an older, wiser family friend told her of the veritable Xanadu that is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Local life partners and civil unionists, Wayne Carmichael and Adam Wolfe, told The Advocate this Sunday afternoon that they and their two adopted children enjoyed a long, hard day at a South Betoota park destroying traditional family values. "We went to the park after lunch to kick a ball around and attack marriage," said Wolfe, a 34-year-old high school...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local 38-month-old completely lost his mind this morning in a popular French Quarter cafe in a touching tribute to his Dad, who's celebrating his third Father's Day today. Quincy Ryder, 36, received the tantrum just after 11 am in front of friends, family and perfect strangers after he had to explain to his son Dakota...

MIKE CATT | Sheep and Goats | Contact Even the very mention of her name can send one local sheep farmer on an hour long tirade about how US songbird Pink almost doomed the entire wool industry. Just over a decade ago, the 37-year-old American called for a boycott of Australian sheep products over concerns she had about animal cruelty stemming...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though the shire council has made numerous efforts to improve the lighting in Apex Park, one local man is still terrified of walking through there alone after dark. Gregor Madden, a defenceless literary agent, often takes the long way home around the park after the sun goes down. Especially, says the 28-year-old, if he's been binge...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A recent graduate from Diamantina Technical College has been called out today on his habit of referring to himself as a Doctor. Sam Wilson whose paper titled: “Bountiful mind: memory, cognition and knowledge acquisition in Plato’s Meno earned him a Doctorate in Philosophy, has been relishing any opportunity to give himself the honourable title. “Hi, I am Sam, Dr....