Local News

22 March, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact HE'S OFTEN QUICK WITH the jokes or to bludge one of your smokes, leaving many local Betoota residents wondering how he's still got all of his teeth. Speaking from experience, former smart cunt Gavin Cooley says by the time he turned 30, he only had three of his own teeth left. "I made...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local accountant, Dion Macey is not racist because he has plenty of black friends, he has confirmed. Shortly before, and after, his twenty minute tirade about "what is best for Aboriginals" - Mr Macey insisted on pointing out that his politically incorrect comments came from a good place. "Don't get me wrong, I've got plenty of black...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SYDNEY NEEDS TO BE less desirable and more dangerous according to a new political party hell bent on helping young Sydneysiders buy a house in the harbour city. Following a city planning model similar to Brazil's Rio De Janeiro, The FairGo Party plans to destabilise Sydney to the point where people will actively feel afraid,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Charlie Belmont arrives at work each morning smelling like coconut and murumuru butters - and it has nothing to do with his diet. Charlie is one of thousands of men around the country that douses his body each morning with expensive hair products that are not meant to be used as bodywash. "I've got all...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE LAST THING STEPHEN VICKER slid into the top of his suitcase was Paul Kelly's Greatest Hits. A couple months earlier, he'd sorted out his Youth Mobility Visa and a one-way ticket to London, thinking he was about to embark on the adventure of his young life. When he arrived in London, he quickly found a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "THEY'RE NOT GOING TO be tongue-kissing and jerking each other off beside the fencing supplies down at my local CRT, so why should I have a say in their lives?" That's the opinion of one West Wyalong farmer - and he's not alone. Thousands of surveyed primary producers are in favour of same-sex marriage plebiscite because it...

9 March, 2016. 11:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recently divorced local man, Brad Paisley, says barbecuing in bed is in his top five most favourite things to do since he separated from his wife of twenty-five years. "It's great," says Brad. "Being divorced is great in general. I get an empty house when the kids visit their mum's place - so now...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Baby Boomer, John Gorman, has been using social media for approximately 18 months. In that time, 90% of his social media activity has been solely based around referring to young people, immigrants, refugees, poor people and Aboriginal people as 'bludgers'. Today, he's even gone as far as calling the devastated Great Barrier Reef as bludger,...

29 January, 2016 10:30 GRAHAM HENDERSON | Lifestyle | CONTACT A 42-year-old Queensland man has been suddenly stricken with a strong case of glaucoma whilst reading amendments to the Therapeutic Goods Act. “It came on so suddenly” said Richard Hua. “My eyes were a bit dry from reading the news, so I did some online research and diagnosed myself as having chronic glaucoma.” “A quick visit to Wikipedia...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact PROMINENT BLUE MOUNTAINS MC Lil KoneKunt was rushed to hospital in the early hours of this morning after becoming the latest victim in the ongoing gang violence that's plagued Australia's hip hop scene for years. At approximately 3:30 am AEST, the 25-year-old was allegedly set upon by a group of men in the carpark of a Penrith fast...