Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After being asked to not wear his limited edition 'Senorita' Justin Timberlake trilby and to wait until the boys and girls arrived at the pub to start drinking, a popular North Betoota used car dealer took a photo of his first schooner of the afternoon and sent it to the group chat. "Cheers, borrs! "...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local patron at the front bar of the Betoota Returned Serviceman's League could lie down on the floor and be completely invisible, it has been confirmed. With a shirt that could blind ya, the retired postman by the name of Rex Zammit (68) has created a bit of a name for himself over the years as a vibrant...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local father-of-four-and-former-warrior slumped back into his couch last night and lit up some lung candy, stared pensively into his OLED television and turned to his family to proclaim that even he, a chinless refrigeration magnate, could've smashed the Ninja Warrior obstacle course back in his day. By his day, Glenn McNally means the summer on 1974. "I was a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local Greek man is in a stable condition after suffering severe lacerations to his cheeks, following a late lunch with his yiayia and her friends at a nearby Helenic cafe this afternoon. 30-year-old Adam Xiannikis was found unconscious in the carpark of a local inner-city shopping centre with both his cheeks bruised and bleeding, after being told how handsome...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Speaking candidly to The Advocate over his fourth coffee of the day, Dennis Coleman said that the highlights of his days recently is to scroll through his many social media feeds to see what part of Europe his friends are enjoying now. It's no skin off the 28-year-old's nose, as he's just happy knowing that...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact With only two regular season rounds left to play, the Betoota Dolphins are hot favourites to take home the Collett Cup wooden spoon after specularly winning last year's premiership with a stunning last-minute field goal.  That means that a Mad Monday celebration is just around the corner. Though the season kicked off earlier this year after...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local loser who honestly thinks he can measure up to the father of his new stepsons today thrown on the leather jacket in an attempt to look cool and get on their level. After 18 months of marriage, the 40-something landscape designer has worked quite hard towards 'chumming up' to his wife's kids from a previous marriage. His...

MARCIA WALSH | Local News | Contact A Daroo Street Polytechnic design student has shared her harrowing tale of how after being asked if a bomb had gone off in her messy Caldwell Street bedroom, she had to confirm that an explosive device did go off, making her room resemble a Mosul farmers market. Maggie Wonderlup, 21, confided in The Advocate a short moment ago and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland has today revealed that when beer and red meat is involved, just about anything seems like a good idea. With the late 2000's trend of cook-your-own steak pubs showing no sign of becoming a tired novelty, local venue operators are revealing just how much money they've made from this bizarre challenge of manhood. "We've had people coming...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Palmer Grafton has spent the last couple hours making calculated comments about how nice it is outside in a blatant effort to get pissed, it has been confirmed The South-Betoota event planner has made it clear to everyone to everyone in the office that he thinks the current weather is the type of weather that he thinks...