Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A south-west Betoota farmer thought the biggest hurdle he'd have to jump over this year was tossing up between using his new disc seeder to put his wheat in or drag the chisel plough over it then direct drill it like he's always done. "It was a matter of how much residual moisture there was in the soil," said...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A sales executive from a niche East Betoota tech start-up broke down late yesterday afternoon and confided in The Advocate in the smoking pokies at the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club and said he didn't know if his boss would ever be satisfied with his job performance. Jack Carter, 23, sells e-commerce software that tracks purchases and traffic and other...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local apprentice, Hamish Hickey, has today shocked his entire worksite by debuting a customised toolbox in the centre flat tray of his lowered 2004 Toyota Hilux. After finally securing an apprenticeship with a local builder, the aspiring chippy has gotten overexcited by three seperate paychecks checks in as many weeks. "I just took out a personal loan. It's only had...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A North Betoota NEET has taken the time out of his busy Tuesday afternoon to take to Facebook to share his feelings about his own life and the almost unavoidable death we all face at the hands of North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. While he reserves most of his hatred for those who don't consider shoegaze its...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A groundbreaking report into the television shopping industry has uncovered some shocking and disturbing figures - one of them being that 90% of MagicBullet™ blenders are sold to marginally employed men between the ages of 20 and 30 between the hours of 2 and 4 in the morning. Australia's peak scientific and research body, the CSIRO, revealed their findings...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A group of friends from the North Betoota Cricket Club have gone on tour this week, with news filtering back home that they've made it to London safe and sound. Many of the blokes travelling over to the Europe confirmed to The Advocate before they left that they'd never actually been overseas before and that they were looking forward...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A seedy old bloke who thinks people see more humour than sleaze in his one-liners has today declared that he is sweet enough, and doesn't need sugar in his coffee. The 72-year-old has today failed to amuse the waitstaff of his local Betoota coffee shop, Bella's Coffee, after cracking the same one-liner for the 43rd time since he started...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact All that Robert Illes wants from his students is their personal best - that's his internal motto and a personal creed that's served him well so far in life. But the 24-year-old recent graduate voiced his concerns to The Advocate last night over half a dozen vodka Powerades down at the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club about the amount of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A popular local Murri girl has today gone all out for the town's National Aboriginal and Islander Day Observance Committee (NADIOC) celebrations at Midhaga Oval in central Betoota. With her younger cousins in town, Jasmyn Pavlovic (17) is underplaying the fact that she bought this entire outfit solely for this event, as the entire region's community comes together to celebrate the history,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A polite young man has been drifting through the Betoota Hotel this afternoon telling anybody who'll listen his two cents about what he describes as 'the biggest fight in Australian history.' Dennis Collie, a local solicitor and combat sports fan, has told every person in the pub twice that he things Jeff Horn is going to...