Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Intern | Contact Steve Samson hasn’t heard the end of it this week. The university student who plays Reserve Grade for Marist Brothers Rams in Lismore has drawn the ire of teammates after wearing undies for a post-match shower in the sheds. “Far out, I am getting absolutely roasted by these blokes. For the first grade game, and the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT After a third straight day of drying, Betoota Lakes local Zach Simpson has finally decided to bring his washing in. After testing his clothes moisture content by touch during the previous two days, the young man can finally confirm that they were just cold, and not in fact wet. “Hooley dooley, it’s so friggin hard to tell if it’s actually...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The president of the local Young Monarchist League in South Betoota had too many Negronis last night at the Betoota Hotel and let slip that after adding his political leanings to his Tinder profile, he hasn't been getting too many right swipes. Tom Annise, 23, confided in The Advocate last night telling our reporter that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While celebrating a five-year anniversary with her boyfriend today, Betoota millennial Sophie Kinder, naturally reached for Instagram to acknowledge the momentous occasion. However, what happened next has left Betoota in shock. It was largely assumed, as is common social media practice, that Sophie would refer to his boyfriend as "this one" - as she had done in previous...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local buyers agent contacted The Advocate this afternoon regarding something she did this morning that she's sure nobody has done consciously before. She turned her late model iPhone off on purpose. Save for the few times she's let the thing go flat, her phone has never been off since she bought it last October from...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent law graduate working at Rodmann Carter Poncho in Betoota's Old City district has revealed to The Advocate that he often leaves work with just enough time to make it home before Lateline starts at 10:30 pm. Though the popular late-night news and current affairs programme airs an hour earlier on ABC News 24, Sam...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the CSIRO has found that the best way to deal with the various unpleasant physiological and psychological effects that following the consumption of ethanol, as found in wine, beer and distilled spirits - is to continue doing it. Lead researcherr Lockyer Tuqiri has said that even if you are really hurting, the best option is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact According to a study conducted by Australia's chief scientific body, the CSIRO, close to 8 in 10 Australians under the age of 25 has received an obscure, barely comprehensible text from a parent. This afternoon, local student Julie Dalhasse became one of those 8. The 21-year-old event management second-year revealed to The Advocate that her Luddite...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular early childhood teacher at East Betoota Primary School can almost feel the sem sauv blanc run down her throat this afternoon as she counts the hours down until she's on school holidays. Dahlia Weilson, 24, is just about half way through her first full year as a full-time teacher and agrees that there's nothing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A pilot has been reprimanded by his superiors this afternoon after it's alleged the 27-year-old left the keys to the airline's late model Boeing at home. Stephen Morris, a Connellan Airways employee, was said to have misplaced the keys on the way to the airport and only noticed once he tried to unlock the Boeing 717. He joined...