Local News

Nerdy Local Dad Series Links The Fuck Out Of Doctor Who

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local dad, Rod Murphy has either lost all self-respect, or he thinks that the rest of the family can't see all the bizarre programs he has been recording on his pay-TV planner. With over 25 saved episodes of Dr Who, bizarre women's netball matches and rom-com's with titles that sounds like porno's, Mr Murphy is...

Local Man Opens Can Of Beer With His Head

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local ringer has impressed hundreds of racegoers at the annual Quilpie Digger's Cup by opening a can of Betoota Bitter with his forehead. Witnesses says they were initially under the impression that Paul Holsen (19) did not know how to open a beer the normal way, until it became clear that it was just...

Substitute Praised For Successfully Pronouncing Ethnic Last Name With More Than 2 Syllables

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recent substitute teacher, Andrew Smith (23) has today blown away his temporary Grade 7 class at South Betoota Primary School by his ability to correctly pronounce one of the more complicated student surnames. During the 9am roll call, Mr Smith showed his worldliness by successfully pronouncing 13-year-old Sarah Remienko's 'exotic' family name. The newly certified educator paused...

Relief As 4th-Grade Captain Arrives In Taxi Five Minutes Before Kick-Off

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After briefly panicking that their side might have to forfeit, the Betoota Dolphins 4th-graders were relieved this morning - as team captain 'Bryza' arrived in a local taxi - just minutes before their long-anticipated clash against the Bedourie Steelers. Local 4th-grade captain, Bryson Yulli (30) arrived at Remienko Oval carrying a plastic bag of KFC...

Privately-educated hipster really digging on Mac DeMarco’s new sound

3 May, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A hip youth living in Betoota's trendy Old City district took time out of his busy morning to drop into the offices of The Advocate to explain just how happy he is with the direction US singer-songwriter Mac DeMarco has taken with his new LP. Though none of our staff asked him,...

Local Publican Under Impression Patrons Enjoy Playing Pool On A Hexagonal Table

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Many East Betoota punters were left scratching their heads earlier this week after a prominent local publican made the decision to put a hexagonal pool table in his popular establishment. The Royal Commerical Hotel has been an East Betootanese drinking institution for nearly two hundred years and despite undergoing a number of facelifts and renovations,...

Suburban Motorist Shows Working Class Solidarity By Giving Two-Finger-Wave To Stop Go Man

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local motorist, Josh Croucher (34) is high on life after today's interaction with a traffic controller, who was directing cars around a new road sealing project in the back streets behind his Betoota Heights office. After roughly four to five minutes of uncomfortable eye contact, the traffic controller received radio confirmation that motorists were now...

Soundcloud rapper defends the use of RhymeZone.com in his songwriting

1 May, 2017. 10:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A prominent South Betoota teenager has lashed out at the suggestion that using RhymeZone cheapens his craft and challenged anyone who thought differently to come down to the Wentworth Road skate park and say it to his face. RhymeZone is a popular internet website that finds rhymes for a word you give...

Local Creep Saves Mint Leaves Lollies Until Last

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local weirdo has spent the last couple of days subconsciously navigating around the Homebrand spearmint lollies on the kitchen bench. The reason? Because he likes them the most and wants to save the best until last. 30-year-old IKEA floor manager, Bevan Cochrane says the missus doesn't often let him tear open a 400 gram of...

Local Socialite Plays Shy And Looks Away From Camera After Asking For Photo

ROY MARTIN | WA | CONTACT In a move that’s been labelled as “bold” and “daring” by members of Betoota’s social circuit, local woman Bella Vacante has looked shyly towards the ground in a social photo that has the scene buzzing. “After the backlash pouting like a duck received following its explosion in 2015, us girls have been looking for something that almost gives...

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