Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Caught between a credit card and a hard place, a West Betootan road worker spent much of the afternoon fishing through his ashtray looking for something vaguely smokable - all the while wondering if he's above smoking dumpers. Today's announcement of an increase in taxes on both pre-rolled and roll-your-own cigarettes has made this decision...

5 April, 2017. 11:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the cost of living in leafy East Betoota continues to grow, some of the town's most vulnerable workers are beginning to feel the pinch. After signing an enterprise agreement with his employer, local waiter Jackson Stumpman said his regular hourly and penalty rates were replaced by a flat, above award rate. However,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Parramatta grandmother's bold choice of sports shoe footwear is contrasting wonderfully with her traditional Indian saree, it has been confirmed by her grandchildren this afternoon. While many of Indria Kumar's grandchildren are secretly amused by her decision to seek flexible arch support that provide greater balance and comfort in the shoe - the 88-year-old matriarch is yet...

3 April, 2017. 9:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sighing loudly enough for half the wine bar to hear, a local Greens voter took a moment to reflect on the government's unjust immigration policy as he stared out the window, fighting back tears. "It's disgusting," said Urshela Leaf, 36, of South Betoota's famed Greenpoint Artists' Commune. "They're imprisoning children, they're committing crimes...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The typical Australian grandfather's Christmas Day outfit has nothing on a local African bloke's flash new button up, it has been confirmed. The South-Betoota man by the name of Lou has received praise from the local community today for bringing back the loud button up. A style once made popular by drovers visiting town for the rodeo. The father-of-three says this...

30 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The third-most prolific shoegaze band in Betoota has shunned their lo-fi sound ahead of the release of their first album next month, citing that they actually have some "pretty good lyrics" and people deserve to hear them. Quran Quran Renault Megane burst onto the East Betoota music scene in 1993, with local chart...

30 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As a part of his ongoing rehabilitation, recent double-transplant recipient Dennis Sparklemein had told everybody from his medical team to his young adult children that he still thinks life as better in his heyday. The 69-year-old revealed to The Advocate that he his generation had real things to worry about such as...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Gregory Caldridge, 19, was unable to be consoled by friends last night after a tragic sequence of events led his mobile telephone to run out of battery midway through a concert. The Brisbane-native made the trip down to the Gold Coast to attend a gig hosted by punk outfit, The Autofellating Anteaters, where he expected to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Using all of her primary school Italian in saying thank you to local barista Giovanni 'Jack' Chapmanio, a South Betoota mother of four asked for the air conditioning to be turned down after being personally greeted with her order ready to go by the Italian-national. "Grazie Jacko! Come è ora?" said Angela Ikona, the owner-operator...

28 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A first-grade tighthead prop has taken to social media this afternoon with details of a Saturday night tryst with a local woman - in the hopes of finding her after the mystery woman took off before he woke up. Pavel Mikhailov is playing his fourth season in the Betoota Dolphins number three jersey and played...