Local News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A noticeably hungover, and possibly still drunk, man is currently informing an entire cafe about how big his night was. While dining alone on a late breakfast, his phone call was rather quiet to begin with. That was until he launched into the story about that bird that Jimmy took home. "She was an absolute sort!" He...

25 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Men are often criticized for not being able to do two things at once, however, most men are able to urinate and spit at the same time - which has become an area of interest for Australia's peak scientific body. Launching a $455m study into why men spit in the urinal before...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite his love of learning, local Murri kid, Jason Ridley (7) has today come to terms with the fact that he probably won't be finishing year twelve. As a young Aboriginal male with a fair bit of pace, everything was looking good for Jason, until he became old enough to play full contact football. "I just don't have the ball...

23 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite putting a Union Jack filter over his Facebook display picture, a local Sikh man has no grand illusions about how he's going to be treated at airports and other public buildings in the wake of yet another terrorist attack linked to Islam. Ranjit Bahadur has been the head of the Betoota...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Ruining yet another pair of stonewash boot cut jeans, a quiet but equally endearing Eromanga man makes no apologies for the fashion faux pas - saying, "it is what it is, then you die." Speaking to The Advocate this morning from the heart, Gregor Norfolk said that his mother often forgets that he's not as...

22 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local dual citizen threw his British passport in the rubbish this morning after all hope that 'Brexit' wasn't actually going to go ahead was extinguished as UK Prime Minister Theresa May plans to officially notify the European Union next Wednesday that the kingdom is leaving. Cameron Rollandson spoke to The Advocate a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 65 year old Italian immigrant Chris Marchese was left seething at the local real estate agent yesterday afternoon, after the salesman “refused to come to the party.” The Betoota Real estate agent Ben Hunt, 30, looked flabbergasted when the prospective home buyer asked for 10 percent off the price of a home if he paid in cash. “Ahhhh mate, that’s...

20 March, 2017. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Moving to the harsh Queensland interior just last year, a local retiree has revealed that his 'sand-change' was going swimmingly up until yesterday when he arrived at a mate's Sunday BBQ with a longneck of red wine. Red wine and other communist beverages were banned from the wider Betoota district after the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the last of the Wednesday night pinot gris dripped from her pores, an East Betoota glazier finally felt right again to stomach something last night - a slice of her housemate's leftover supreme pizza. As there were five four slices left or half your standard pizza, Natalie Pearson thought she'd be able to get away with stealing a slice. So...

16 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local alpaca farmer has confided in The Advocate this morning, explaining that his long road to ruin began after he was snapped in the men's restroom of The Betoota Hotel using the urinal with his Wranglers wrapped around his ankles. Caught with his pants down in the midst of a midsummer...