‘The Fat Jew’ Is Painfully Not-Funny, Confirms Person Who Met Him In Real Life
30 November, 2015 14:45
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Josh Ostrovsky, aka ‘The Fat Jew,’ rakes in six figures from his joke-sharing Instagram account and has recently landed several sponsorship deals. As a controversial figure in the world of internet humour, it is assumed by many that The Fat Jew is the current 'face' of contemporary comedy.
However one man, who has actually met...
Local man slapped with jay-walking ticket in Birdsville
29 November, 2015. 9:14
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
DESPITE BEING ONE of the more quieter towns of the Diamantina Shire, 23-year-old Dirk Hampton was ticketed by an area constable yesterday after failing to cross Adelaide Street at the designated crossing.
The $103 fine is bureaucracy gone mad, says Hampton.
"This is just revenue raising. Don't the cops have anything better to do?...
Local Coward Lets Partner Read Through Entire Group Chat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local man, Ben Gladstone is a coward.
That's according to thirteen blokes in his secret, boys-only WhatsApp group conversation.
"Ben's done mate. He's cooked it," says former-mate Ryan Wrigley.
"What the fuck was he thinking. It goes without saying that the group chat is secret mens business. It's fucking sacred... He let his girlfriend read through the entire thing,"
"It's all...
Local 4-Month-Old Gives Mum Clear Consent To Post 450 Photos Of Him Online
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
4-month-old, Jack Peachey, has given clear consent to his mother posting upwards of 450 photographs of him on an array of social media channels, it has been confirmed.
The consistent stream of baby photographs are also captioned with generic motherly proverbs, such as:
"Jack William Peachey, a Sagittarius... and he knows it!"
"NO! I'm the boss! lol"
"Oh, this boy of mine,"
"When's...
Report: Sniffer Dogs Are Fucken Dogs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Maitland diesel mechanic Trenton Derran has spoken out in a stinging rebuke of the presence of police dogs at community events on his Facebook page this Friday.
The young electronic music enthusiast controversially revealed that he was reluctant to carry more than six disco biscuits into festivals due to the increased number of sniffer dogs patrolling the entry...
Hotel Staff Taken Hostage As Patrons Refuse To Acknowledge Lock-Out Laws
CLAYTON STAND | Contributor | Contact
BAR AND SECURITY STAFF at Hotel Sweety’s in the Sydney CBD have been taken hostage in an apparent protest of the NSW lockout laws.
Three men aged 25, 23 and 18 laid siege to the hotel after being asked to leave the licensed premises at the closing time of 3:00 am. One of the men, Lachlan Peterson, reached-out to the Betoota Advocate...
Berlin’s world famous nightlife recreated in Outback Queensland town
22 October, 2015. 8:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
ALTHOUGH OFFICIALLY BANNED in 2007, smoking in bars, cafes and restaurants is still permitted albeit tolerated in nearly every public space in Berlin. In addition to this mind-bending reality faced by hundreds of bemused travellers everyday, patrons are also given a long leash when it comes to where they consume booze and...
Man banned from hotel after squishing meat pie into pokie machine
9 October, 2016. 14:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A NORTH BETOOTA man has been banned for life from the Betoota Hotel after growing frustrated with his favourite "brickie's laptop". The man allegedly forced the meat pie he was eating up the machine's note acceptor, causing minor damage and a major inconvenience to the barmen.
After hotel staff made the gruesome discovery, local...
Reclaim Australia Movement Declares “War On The Betoota Advocate”
11 September, 2015. 05:00
SPECIAL REPORT| Contact
The Betoota Advocate has today been informed that we are to expect an abundance of hate mail and offensive vitriol from the controversial Australian cultural activists known as Reclaim Australia.
The anti-Islamic "Aussie Pride" group has today urged tens of thousands of members to "troll" our humble small-town newspaper, after taking offence at several articles...
Rolf Harris, Border Force and dry humping all have something in common
4 September, 2015. 11:04
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IT'S NOT THAT they're all embarrassing now, all of these horrible things were discussed this week in the Betoota Advocate podcast. After a report was released by Her Majesty's Prison Service earlier this week, The Advocate sent Errol Parker to the UK to investigate claims that British entertainer Rolf Harris was being...
