Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Local man Shane McNamara has been rejected by the Betoota Rockabilly Society after failing to meet an unspoken but critical requirement of the subculture. Despite his slicked-back hair, cuffed jeans, love of calling random things "hot mama", and impressive collection of vinyl records, Shane's rakish frame has left him ostracised from the tight-knit community. Shane,...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA lifelong Blue Mountains resident , Xavier Dawson (31), has expressed serious doubts about this “Facebook” phenomenon that has Sydney in a frenzy. Xavier, a particularly forward thinking man who considers himself on the forefront of all thing tech, claims that he is “more than a bit wary” of this new-fangled technology everyone on the flat lands seems to...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTA local woman has fully embraced the fate that awaits her as she heads out clubbing with her gay best friends, knowing the night will be fabulous, for a bit, —but will ultimately end in solitude.Sophia Sharma (24) said she’d been “summoned” on a night out by her gaggle of gays, an invitation she enthusiastically accepted, despite...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a move that has stunned the influencer world, fulltime daughter and partime fashion blogger Isabella Greene (24) has boldly condemned the fast fashion industry, calling on her followers to instead invest in the high-end, sustainable alternatives she herself has been enjoying for years—thanks to her dad’s credit card. "I just can’t in good conscience support companies that exploit...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local city girl on a pilgrimage from Melbourne to Sydney has struggled to keep the drool in her mouth while passing through several neglected country town vinnies. "I just know there's some seriously good stuff in there -- so many community minded country folk that donate clothes, yet so few  girls to pillage it and re-sell them for...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local man has once again fallen victim to the notoriously disorganised Ikea’s forgetful act of failing to include a vital piece in a table build, and not his inability to put together a fairly basic piece of furniture. Mark Lucas (33) has always prided himself on getting things done without some lousy instruction manual, especially when it comes...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn an outburst that has left locals scratching their heads, Betoota Heights resident and self-proclaimed philanthropist Geoffrey Fitzgerald (69) has expressed grave concern about the state of the local hospitals—despite his family trust, which was designed specifically to reduce his tax burden. “I can’t believe the condition of our hospitals these days,” Geoffrey lamented, leaning on his BMW...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn a move that has shocked no one but insulted everyone, software engineer Mason Lee (36) has reportedly been advised to "practice mindfulness" after being let go by his boss following a round of "right-sizing."   Right-sizing, of course, being the latest in corporate jargon that loosely translates to "sacking a chunk of the workforce to boost the share...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTLocal man Troy Leoni (32) has been spotted outside Betoota Heights’ Chemist Warehouse, gearing up for the experience with the intensity of a DJ about to drop a 3 a.m. set at Tomorrowland.   "I’m not going in unprepared again," he muttered, pulling a pair of wraparound sunglasses from his pocket. "Last time, I left with ringing ears and...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA local woman is now on a mission to convince her mate that not all cats are equal, after discovering she doesn’t share the same positive feelings towards felines. Ava Dumati, 28, could be heard launching into an acquisition when her friend Chelsea admitted she ‘absolutely hated cats’, including wanting to know everything about Chelsea’s childhood history and what...