Local News

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA quick-thinking boyfriend has successfully pacified an unimpressed girlfriend this morning with an impromptu trip to the farmers markets.After promising his girlfriend that his Friday night would involve no more than two quiet beers with some footy mates, Brenton Coopers (33) had a night that was anything but.Stumbling home at 1am this morning, reeking of pale...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactOne of Betoota’s most unfollowed micro-influencers has been spotted out shopping today, looking to buy a salacious book cover that will really pop on her Instagram stories.Perusing the ‘self-development’ section of Barry Bogtrotter Books in Betoota Westfield, local social media executive Britnee Walters (26) was seen picking up several titles and putting them back down again,...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA local party girl is putting herself on a two-minute noodle diet this week as she attempts to woo up on her spending. Despite being less than a week into December, Claire Glassons bank account is already looking a little stint, even before Silly Season has truly reached its peak. With every night packed out with farewell drinks,...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA stupid dumb boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate the talents of Cynthia Erivo has offered up his opinion today on the blockbuster film Wicked. After agreeing to a weekend off the booze in the lead up to Christmas, The Advocate understands one Duncan Farley, (34) was dragged to see the film by his girlfriend on Saturday night, an...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA Betoota Heights bloke has today reached the ‘no going back’ zone at his work Christmas party, having taken advantage of his advertising agency’s eye watering drinks budget. Kicking off at 11am with a bottomless brunch, which unfortunately had included two hours of passing around made up awards, Liam Manning, 28, found himself slamming several mimosas and a few...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Treasurer Jim Chalmers has spectacularly resigned this today after losing the entire Future Fund on the Hawk Tuah cryptocurrency crash. Close to A$240bn has been lost according to government estimates and will almost certainly plunge the economy into recession next year. The Future Fund is Australia's sovereign wealth fund, established in 2006 by the Howard...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn what has become a time-honoured tradition, local friends Nick, John, and Shani found themselves deep in the inevitable "late night music video viewing" phase of their evening. The trio, who had gathered at Shani’s apartment for a few glasses of rosé, had swiftly spiraled into a rabbit hole of iconic pop culture moments, thanks to Nick’s insisting:...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | ContactA local expert from Betoota’s Bureau Of Meteorology has today reiterated the fact that the UV index isn’t directly correlated for the ‘Itness’ of a day. Aaron Hardie, a meteorologist at the Betoota Plains Observatory explained to The Advocate that there are plenty of other factors to be taken into account when assessing whether it is a Day For...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA local bloke has executed some exceptional forward defense today as he casually blocks the requests from an old workmate to catch up before Christmas.Tallis Gordon, 33, was catching a bus home from the city when he was sprung upon by Dave Ericcson, a colleague he used to share a desk with back when he worked...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactA snotty cafe in the French Quarter has put on a spectacular magic show this morning, transforming their output of very average coffees into beverages that are close to $10 bucks. Popular with biologically-engineered cavoodle owners, Foxcroft & Ginger is a trendy joint on Aesop Street, the kind of place that attracts crowds of Birkenstock wearing graphic...