Sports

Turnbull Poses With Relevant Football Jersey Associated With Upcoming Sporting Fixture

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Turnbull's undying love for the great Aussie pastime of Aussie Rules Football was on display for all today, after he posed for a photo with his beloved NSW Waratahs jersey. Turnbull, who was under the impression that game I of the 2018 State Of Origin series was to be played this weekend, says he's always respected...

Report: Why Do All Former Origin Greats Look Like They Were Playing In Their Late 40s?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Today is the day, game II of the fiercest rugby league showdown in the history of the game. As the State Of Origin highlight reels get a run on YouTube and Channel 9 today, the same question has arisen. Why do 1990s rugby league icons look like they were already at retiring age during the peak of their career? Between the...

Year 12 Drama Student Blows Class Away With Gus Gould Style Monologue

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A young man in the town's north has today brought his classmates and teacher to tears with an inspiring rendition of one of Phil ‘Gus’ Gould’s famous pre-game Origin speeches. Tony Martin (17) from the Betoota Heights area performed the first run of his 4-minute major work in front of the class today and drew rapturous...

Nation’s Ethnic Restaurants Excitedly Prepare To Violate RSAs With 3 am World Cup Matches

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Ethnic restaurants and cafes across the country (with one notable exception) are abuzz this week, in preparation for the World Cup. Exorbitant amounts of coffee have been ordered, beers have been imported, and the preparation has been done to make an excessive amount of European and Middle Eastern sweets over the coming weeks. The restaurants and cafes are preparing...

Local Boxing Gym Offers Classes On That Oootz Oootz Noise People Make While Warming Up

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local boxing gym, that has recently expanded their services to people who don't actually want to fight, has today advertised classes on how to make the intimidating sounds that heavily-tattooed amateur fighters make while warming up. The iconic Bozo's Boxing Gym, in Di Roma street in the Flight Path District, is now offering 'shadowboxing grunts and rope leaning...

Sydneysider Planning To Cheer For Maroons Now Stands Accused Of Cultural Appropriation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With State of Origin game one fast approaching, Twitter is alive with vigorous debate after a Sydneysider who supports the Maroons was accused of cultural appropriation. Mosman native, Nathan Smith-Wentworth (25) posted a photo of him in a Maroons jersey on Twitter with the caption “Yew! Go QLD! #stateoforigin #gameone” The controversy started when Brisbane born blogger...

“The Fans Must Be Going Off Right Now In…. Golden State” Says Australian NBA Die-Hard

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A self-proclaimed die-hard Golden State Warriors fans says that he'd love nothing more to be in the states right now with other fans of his chosen NBA franchise. As the Warriors tear ahead of the Cleveland Cavaliers in game 1 of the NBA finals, Stephen Curry's number one Australian fan, Greg Billson (32) says things must be absolutely crazy...

Thick Layer Of Steam Covers Brisbane As Billy Slater Hits The Showers Post QLD Team Run

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A heavy layer of steam has blanketed much of Brisbane this morning, with the weather bureau saying it is widespread throughout Queensland's south-east and inland parts of the state this morning. Bureau of Meteorology forecaster Danny Crocker it was "a pretty extensive layer of steam" and put it down to Billy Slater taking his lid off and hitting the...

Inside The Blues’ Radical New Game Plan: Blackfellas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a decade of remarkably embarrassing football, the NSW Origin side has this year announced a radical new game plan. Selecting Aboriginal footballers who probably should have been playing three years ago. Aside from Timana Tahu and Jamal Idris, the NSW Origin team has been notoriously non-Indigenous throughout Queensland's iconic eight-in-row streak, with a history-making Maroons side that was...

“Lebron!” Says Rugby League Illiterate Coworker Out Of His Depth With Origin Selections

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Apparently local city worker, Zane Sheryl, is really into the American basketball competition. His co-workers made this discovery on Monday, when he went to the effort of decking out his desk space with seemingly brand new Cleveland Cavieller merchandise. This news comes a shock to many in his office, as most of his colleagues just assumed that he wasn’t interested...

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