Sports

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The fallout from the ASADA doping scandal is continuing to decimate the AFL as Essendon Football Club faces further sanctions and punishment for their part in the controversy. This morning local time, Gillon McLachlan, the CEO of the Australian Football League, made the announcement that the Essendon Bomber will not be competing in this year's competition - however, the players...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recent reports by people changing channels aimlessly before dinnertime has found that the Winter Olympics is still, what the fuck? A whole week after all the punchlines and snowboarding has wrapped up, apparently there are still heats for like cross country skiing and weird ass events involving guns. Haha. A heap of Australians are still competing, at high levels,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Alumni of the country's elite private schools are already prepared for the beginning of the Super Rugby competition this weekend, it has been confirmed. The international rugby competition, which is closely followed by Australia's elite financial and legal sectors, kicks off across Australia and New Zealand on Friday much to the delight of Australia’s upper and upper middle class. Across...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that a transgender woman has been cleared to play in state and territory women's leagues in 2018, Melbourne's reactionary print media is unable to allocate enough attention to the second biggest social issue in Victoria, African gangs. The news that Hannah Mouncey will be allowed to play football at an amatuer level comes as the AFL...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent regular on the inner-Sydney and Melbourne art gallery circuit has been left rattled today, after learning that Australia's stage and theatre community has a much deeper and disturbing culture of sexual harassment and misconduct than all the football codes combined. 56-year-old Geoffrey Mclushlan was one of the first members of his book club to condemn the piggish...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The remaining viewers of free-to-air Australian television have made it clear to Channel 7 that they are not interested in downloading their ad-riddled Winter Olympics app, in a statement delivered across the nation's households over the weekend. The app, which is being promoted in non-stop advertisements on the television broadcast of the 2018 PyeongChang Olympics, is probably very shit,...

Jim Gillespie and his wife have Brennan separated for a while now. Ever since she packed up, the Head Coach and Director of Football at the Betoota Dolphins has dived headlong into his role. The ex first grader who played over 200 games for the mighty Dolphins over a 15 year period, says he knows full well what makes a ‘footy...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Craig Anderson (34)  reckons today is the best day of the year. Forget Christmas, “the Super Bowl is where it’s at dude,” claims Anderson. However, while the gung-ho accounts manager at a local Betootan asset property firm has been stomping around the office letting out a chorus of “Woooo’s” and “Let’s go baby,” he told The...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Prominent Australian youtuber Robelinda2 has this week been awarded the Order of Australia title in this year's Australia Day honours list. Robelinda2 was listed among this year's Officer of the Order (AO) honour roll in the general division, for "distinguished service to providing Australians access to long forgotten cricket highlights, including really niche ones that you probably don't remember...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite being sheepishly distant during the Test series, a local English man has come out of his shell recently as the touring cricketers take out the One Day series against Australia. Pierce Thompson, a Birmingham-native, moved to Betoota just over four years ago to work in a bank, where he works with money. As each Australian industry is required to...