Sports

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In a decision that's even left English cricket fans scratching their heads, English Test cricket captain Joe Root won the toss and elected to bowl yesterday in Adelaide. Not satisfied with his answer, Australia's peak scientific body has taken it upon themselves to find out why. Speaking candidly to The Advocate this morning via fax, one...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Peter Smith-Jenkins spent all week getting worked up to cheer on his Wallabies. Today, he wishes he hadn't. Speaking to coworkers this morning at his boutique-but-ultimately-unnecessary-artisan-local-cafe, nobody for the life of their boat shoes could understand how the boys in gold could shit the bed so badly. "Unbelievable," he said, cracking his third San Pelligrino of the morning. "It's not like when...

An entire room full of fully grown adults have been spotted yelling and clapping at a television in the Lord Betoota Hotel this afternoon. This week on the podcast we spoke to playwright Tommy Murphy about his new play focused on the Packers, he's got some cracking stories. Listen here: The patrons, who don't appear to be talking to one...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Hearing the shouting and hollering emanating from the living room, a popular North Betoota homemaker put his head into the room to see what all the fuss was. Ben Kennedy was jumping on the couch like Tom Cruise and on the cusp of speaking in tongues. "Wooooo!! How about that, you bastards!" he screamed. Laughing at the extolling of joy and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Lisping through one of seven gaps in his front teeth, a popular and friendly visiting Englishman has enjoyed himself thus far Down Under - but he feels his skin isn't having us much fun as he is. Ben Granholm's skin and liver are days away from testing Australia's famous Medicare system as his sunburn and rampant alcohol consumption reach fever...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Knowing very well that he can only post two, maybe three photos of his day at the cricket before his mates stop losing interest, an overly excited cricketing tragic has jumped the gun this morning and posted a photo of the Gabba outfield, before anyone has even stepped out. Even though it's a particularly busy time of the year,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact that their home country is not recognised as major supporter of cricket, Brisbane's proud German-Australian have been officially recognised as some of the biggest contributors to the success of international test matches. In an official pre-Ashes ceremony at the Gabba this afternoon, the board members and staff from the Brisbane German Club at 416 Vulture street...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bloke of Māori background is being forced to listen to his white Australian coworker's review of his home country's traditional war cry before their unsuccessful world cup match against England over the weekend. "Man, that haka was so good" says Darryl, a undeservedly confident goofball from accounts. "Were you watching Jamie?" he asks his Maori coworker, who he knows...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Channel 9 are under fire for their lack on non-white non-males on their 2017/18 cricket commentary team, there has been considerable pressure applied to Pakistan-born Australian first-class cricketer Usman Khawaja to retire so that he can add a bit of pepper to the the bench of knowledge. The current line-up, that includes a panel of cricketing folklore,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After just coming off the biggest win in their rugby league history, Ma'a Tonga have today extended an invitation to one of their nation's greatest enemies, prominent blackface comedian Chris Lilley. Following a thrilling 28-22 win over New Zealand, the momentum behind the proud Island nation has seen their status as a middling international rugby league contender shift into...