Sports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the success of the 2017 Australian Open, Channel Seven has had to offer 1200 redundancies to remain afloat in the unforgiving Australian media landscape. Several upsets in the world tennis rankings has resulted in just a little too much post-match celebrations for Channel Seven's budget. Controversial CEO Tim Worner says the tradition of signing the camera...

22  January, 2016. 18:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A square leg umpire has broke protocol yesterday during a T20 match in East Betoota overnight by making his own mind up regarding a tight run out. Batsman Penny Tration was on 18 runs during last night's mixed T20 clash between Betoota Workies and the Dolphins when she dove at the crease...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Australian Institute Of Sport has found that even the most nonathletic Australians still find the smell of new tennis balls to be quite exciting. The study, which went for 18 months and cost the tax-payer up to $800,000 has found that the smell of new tennis balls is something that...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After being ridiculed and mocked for his lack of sporting knowledge, the Prime Minister has taken a course of action against that flaw in his Australian character by forcing himself to watch cricket and tennis each night. However, speaking to The Advocate earlier today, one of Malcolm Turnbull's aids has revealed that when a dubious...

18 January, 2016. 11:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As a number of rule modifications were introduced to aid the batsman in T20, the shortest form of the game, bowlers in the Big Bash League have started asking for a number of modifications themselves. At the moment, the rules favour batsmen heavily and punish bowlers for any mistake. However, nearly every bowler...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After three consecutive weeks of no drug, alcohol or violence-related misdemeanours in the National Rugby League, CEO Todd Greenberg says it's almost like the players weren't aware that the exhibition rounds begin in less than two months. "It's kind of like, in 2016 we had well and truly had a few scandals before Mitchell Pearce humped...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Following the news that Channel Nine will make a multi-multi-million dollar offer for the rights to the explosive T20 Big Bash League to add to their test cricket and one day cricket roster, viewers have today accused the non-cricketing television stations of being pointless and dumb. T20 has grown into one of Australian television's most...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Australian tennis star Kyrgios has today faced the media – after beating Rafa Nadal – wearing a t-shirt that said “F*** Donald Trump“ - one local punter reckons he can finally get behind the controversial 21-year-old. "I say good on him" says Josh Clapp (35) from the couch of his living room. "He's playing good tennis. He can...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With another week of holidays left, local man Roger Deen (35) is demanding more cricket. He joins thousands of other Australian men who don't feel they are getting enough between the 9:30 am test openers and the final Big Bash batsmen at around 9:30pm. "This fucking rain isn't helping things" "I just want to be able to watch 2000 over...

5 January, 2017. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After scoring the first of many hundreds to come, opening Test batsman Matt Renshaw explained to The Advocate this afternoon that his celebrations last night were cut short because of Sydney's LockOut™ laws. Rolling out of an Oxford Street establishment at closing time, the 20-year-old struggled to find another venue in the...