Darren Lehmann issues guide dogs to Australian batsmen so they can see the fucking ball better
4 February, 2016. 11:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SUPERSTAR COACH AND LIVING AUSTRALIAN TREASURE Darren Lehmann has taken delivery of six guide dogs today, which he plans to give to his useless batsmen. The nation's cricketing team was lashed like a naughty schoolboy's bum in the 50's last night, so the dogs couldn't come fast enough.
Hitting out at his underperforming...
Khawaja Still Not On Selectors Radar Despite Warming Up In Full Kit Outside Eden Park
3 February, 2016 11:45
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT
Usman Khawaja is still not on the radar of prominent Australian ODI selectors, despite being fully dressed in cricket attire and practicing shots with the team physio outside of Eden Park this afternoon.
"We haven't seen much from him yet," said chairman of selectors Rod Marsh.
"He'll show his promise when he develops a little bit,"
Usman Khawaja...
Local Fourth Grade Footballers Not Required To Apologise For Obvious Alcohol Problems
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT
The South Betoota Australian Rules social grade footballers were not met with a press conference this morning, despite the fact they have spent the last 48 hours making Mitchell Pearce look like a "fuckin' schoolboy".
We spoke to the most lively member of the team's three-day bender, co-captain Jack Cort, who says he didn't think Friday's pre-season trial match would have...
Craig Gower reveals he taught Mitchell Pearce everything he knows about bending
31 January, 2016. 14:35
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IN DECEMBER 2005, Craig Gower was fired as Panthers captain.
What started out as just other Sunday, ended with him visiting his local Tarocash - to find a suit to wear to the NRL disciplinary hearing that was going to happen on Monday.
There were a series of incidents at a charity golf event, which ended up...
Joel Monaghan Sneers At Mitchell Pearce’s Half-Hearted Attempt At Rooting A Dog
28 January, 2016 13:05
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT
It is believed that former Canberra Raiders centre, Joel Monaghan has laughed off suggestions that the currently disgraced NSW and Sydney Roosters halfback, Mitchell Pearce has "joined the club".
Close friends have spoken up this morning and informed the Betoota Advocate that Joel Monaghan was actually quite disappointed when he viewed the footage of the disgraced...
Report suggests Nick Kyrgios wasn’t smacked as a child
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
MARK PHILIPPOUSSIS is a great Australian. He won two Davis Cups, reached the finals of Wimbledon and the US Open - and like the rest of the country, he was smacked as a child.
Though he wasn't always popular and humble like he is now, Lleyton Hewitt was smacked.
Bill Shorten was smacked.
A new report released by...
Cronulla Sharks Praised For Strict “No Snitching” Policy Following Essendon Decision
12 January, 2016 10:45
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT
It's been three years since the first revelations of a massive cross-code performance enhancing drug syndicate in Australian sport.
Today the Court Of Arbitration For Sport handed down its judgement to those found guilty in the AFL. 34 Essendon players have been found guilty, of them, 12 remain at the club and will have to endure an entire season...
Shane Warne Is Also Interested In Taking Mel McLaughlin Out For A Drink
6 January, 2016 17:30
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Sources close to Australia's favourite sportsman of all time have confirmed that the King Of Spin has only just been made aware that there is an extremely hot chick who often features as a journalist during live coverage of Big Bash cricket matches.
It is believed Shane Warne was alerted to the existence of channel...
Chris Gayle Incident Encourages Other Women To Share Stories Of Meeting Charismatic Black Men
6 December, 2016 12:50
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In an explosive news week that has seen many high-profile Australian identities berated for sleazy interactions with the opposite sex, the famous, and noticeably black, BBL cricketing sensation Chris Gayle is definitely the most controversial.
Even more controversial than the two federal ministers who have admitted to misogynistic behaviour this week, Chris Gayle's misogyny is controversial...
Leaked photos of Chris Gayle’s enormous box reveal why he’s so confident
5 January, 2016. 11:30
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A HOBART-based baggage handler has been suspended pending an investigation following allegations he took photographs of the contents of Chris Gayle’s kit bag.
A Representative from the Transport Workers’ Union (TWU) has called the accusations “inflammatory” and “unfair” and has threatened strike action over the controversy.
This fresh controversy comes after the nation was stunned last year...
