Sports

Nikita Tszyu Unwinds From His Glorious 9th Round TKO By Spending 7 Hours In Haymarket TimeZone

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of the most interesting units in Australian combat sports, Nikita Tszyu has claimed his 10th consecutive win overnight. The generational boxer forced a shift in momentum during his fight against fellow Sydney boy Koen Mazoudier, fishing the match with a TKO in the ninth of their 10-round super welterweight bout at Sydney's International Convention Centre last night. After eight...

Vossy Goes Fully Brissy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Carlton Blues coach and Queensland AFL legend, Michael Voss has left the people of Victoria in a state of awe this week - after the 49-year-old went 'full Brissy' on a couple of juvenile delinquents yesterday. Vossy was captured on film performing a citizen’s arrest on a young offender after witnessing him allegedly flipping a stolen Mercedes on its...

World’s Most Annoying Accent Has Good Weekend In Perth

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The people of our nation's prosperous West were left clutching their ears this weekend as the world’s most annoying accent made a triumphant return to the city, dominating both the rugby field and the Octagon. The South African accent, known for its peculiar blend of extremely harsh nasal tones and silly sharp inflections, was inescapable...

Melbourne Just Don’t Get AFL

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The fight for a spot in the AFL’s top eight is being exclusively fought between Melbourne based teams, as the the top 6 spots on the ladder are held comfortably by out-of-towners. Questions are now arising as to whether the MCG should even get to host the AFL Grand Final, or should it be played in a city that is...

Australian Olympic Team Now Closer Than They’ve Ever Been To The ‘Full Carton’ Of Golds

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia is celebrating today, after surpassing the country’s greatest ever Olympics medal haul in a glorious hot streak overnight. With 18 gold medals, we are now closer than we've ever been to the 'full carton' Perth-based Sailor Matt 'Wearn Dog' Wearn went back-to-back to win a nail-biting men’s dinghy final that was restarted after it was initially abandoned close to...

Dusty Tells Serena To Book The Maldives Villa After Announcing Retirement 

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Richmond Tigers superstar Dustin Martin has today announced that he will be hanging up the boots. The huge revelation from one of the greatest to ever do it came via a press release this morning, confirming the retirement will take place with 'immediate effect.' The announcement has somewhat put to bed rumours that Dusty would be taking a retirement...

Man Whose Brain Is Fucked From Algorithms Was Fully Prepared To Believe That The Strict Muslim Nation Of Algeria Had Gone Woke

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A post-war Australian man who knows everything about the state of the world but seemingly nothing about modern history has this week had to do the unimaginable: Changing his opinion after being presented with new information. Because it turns out that Algerian boxer wasn't actually transgender. International Olympic Committee president Thomas Bach on Saturday confirmed there "was never any doubt" that...

Report: The Drums Are Growing Louder In Belmore

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In case you haven't yet identified that faint thudding noise you're hearing, it seems that the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs have cemented themselves into the final 8 on the NRL ladder. This comes as the Doggies star centre Stephen Crichton enters serious contention for the Dally M Captain of the Year, after he lead the boys steadily to a high-octane 22-18...

Jamaica Once Again Begin Exploring Winter Olympic Sports After Losing Both Mens And Womens 100m

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that will likely result in several terminations of employment within the West Indies most successful sporting ministries, it seems that Jamaica has come short of winning gold in both the mens and womens 100 metre sprints at the 2024 Paris Olympics. This comes as three American sprinters reached the finals of the men's, in what has proven...

Funny Ancient Greek Sports Begin As 2024 Olympics Enters Second Week

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia is currently cherishing our time at the top end of the 2024 Olympic medal tally, as our most dominant week of water-based sports wraps up. With a few more golds expected in a range of different events, Australia has the potential to remain cemented near the top of the list, punching well above our weight when it comes...

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