Sports

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The international sport of football has today confirmed to The Advocate where it would like to head off to next. Speaking in an exclusive interview with our humble regional newspaper under the premise that we call it football not soccer, football has explained that it's probably going to head down to the Iberian peninsula. "Haha yeah, don't mind...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Supermarkets, convenience stores and bars in Dortmund are currently being pillaged, after a historic night in the German city. The city is under siege this evening following a famous English victory in the semi-final of Euro 2024. After being one of the shittest teams in the entire tournament, England sprung into life this morning after going behind early....

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an unexpected twist to the NRL State of Origin series, a prediction has emerged from beyond the grave, courtesy of the renowned blind Romanian mystic, Baba Vanga. According to the whispers of her followers, Baba Vanga has foretold another crushing defeat for the NSW Blues at Suncorp Stadium, their perennial house of horrors. Baba...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Boyish, Rugged and Pensive. Those are the three words used to describe the sexiest trio in State Of Origin football. Newcastle Knights skipper Kalyn Ponga has been called up to join the Maroons side for the Game III decider at Suncorp Stadium next week. His inclusion in the Queensland team will mark the first time he has played alongside Reece...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Maroons veteran Dane Gagai is back in the Queensland squad ahead of next week’s decider, after earning a recall to the Origin arena following months of playing out of his skin in the NRL comp. The 33-year-old hasn’t played for Queensland since his valiant contribution to the confidence-shattering 22-12 humiliation of NSW during an explosive Game III decider at...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The UFC 305 card, set to take place at Perth this August, keeps growing - with a new addition seemingly every day. This expanded card follows the news that Sydney's Tai 'Bam Bam' Tuivasa was locked in at the start of the week to fight world heavyweight number 12 Jairzinho Rozenstruik in a swang and bang type standing brawl. UFC...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Lionel Messi fans are today walking on clouds today, after a rather amusing morning in the European Football Championships. For those who aren't familiar, the title of modern GOAT centres around Messi vs Ronaldo, often making for a heated discussion amongst football fans. The title of the actual GOAT is obviously shared by Pele and Maradona. The newest...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Everyone except Donald Trump's staunch supporter base are horrified today, after getting a close look at the man who is supposed to be cognitively equipped to lead the world's most powerful country in the world until 2028. While the international media remains committed to pretending that age is not a factor and that old people can run the world...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A Sydney man residing in the Victorian capital has reportedly found himself in the unfortunate situation of trying to find a pub that was broadcasting game 2 of the second NRL State Of Origin match. Jack Pattenson (26), a Sydney born graphic designer who moved to the centre of the universe last month, says he made a rather avoidable...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The NRL scriptwriters have been nominated for a Logie Award for their work on the State of Origin miniseries. The nomination comes after the thrilling spectacle of State of Origin II, which left fans wondering if they were watching a sports match or an intricately choreographed drama. With only minutes remaining in the first half,...