The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The people of New South Wales continue to wait for a train that could rival Queensland's iconic, modern and impressive Tilt Train. Unlike the aging XPTs—introduced 40 years ago and now shuffling slowly into the sunset—the Tilt Train in Queensland gleams as a symbol of punctuality, comfort, and sleek speed. NSW’s promised XPT replacements...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTLocal Betoota Heights woman, Jamie Wilkins (32), has shared her heart-wrenching experience of having her name called for a doctor’s appointment just as the drama on Judge Judy was about to hit its peak.“I’d been watching this episode for a solid twenty minutes,” Jamie says, visibly shaken.“This guy was just about to admit he put bleach...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After nearly five years of self-discovery, Taylor O'Sullivan, a 30-year-old Betoota Grove native, has made the classic decision to stay just one more year in Berlin. Though he’s well aware that 30 is the hard limit for the German working holiday visa, Taylor has declared he’s not ready for the rigidity of a real...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former breakfast television economist David Koch has sensationally claimed that his longtime rival Karl Stefanovic has been copying his unique style for years as the Today Show host debuts a sporting chrome dome and glasses on the US Election telecast. Mr Koch, speaking from a rented holiday home in Sellicks Beach, said he tuned into...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who’s chosen to say nup to the cup because the racing industry is just ‘animals being exploited by the rich’ has come to the startling realisation that she too, is an animal being exploited by the rich. Despite being reasonably well paid with her tech sales position, Amelie Waterdeep, 29, says she knows for a fact that...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Offices around the country are preparing for a day filled with deceit, sabotage, and betrayal not seen since the power struggles in The Godfather tore families apart. While most of corporate Australia is mildly excited about a couple of hours in the pub watching a horse race, two individuals are preparing to covertly undermine the happiness of the other. Jasmine...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Betoota Heights locals were left questioning the merits of the Youth Mobility Scheme this morning after encountering the latest addition to the local high street. A young Englishman aggressively raising awareness for a niche charity project aimed at providing cochlear implants for deaf dogs. The young lab, described by eyewitnesses as "relentlessly chirpy" and "fucking...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has lied through his teeth today, after being asked a relatively simple question. Bradley Palmer did so a short time ago when receiving a call from one of the suppliers at work. Instead of being honest, the 36-year-old engineer from Betoota Ponds decided to blatantly fib during while exchanging pleasantries. "Yeah good weekend mate," lied...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Controversial American streamer Yousef Erakat, better known as Fousey, has made a cunt of himself in a Sydney hospital over the weekend. The self-proclaimed "King of Kontent" found himself in Liverpool Hospital, in Sydney's Tuscany, where he streamed himself on the floor, lamenting what he described as "subpar treatment" following a suspected 'ruptured' kidney. "This hospital...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA man hoping to get his foot into the housing market is devastated to discover that the suburb he was really hopful about has one of those public street libraries -- guarantying that the suburb is out of his financial reach. "I just really thought this could be the one you know," Said David Yorke (38). "It really didn't seem...