The Nation

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThe picturesque town of Margaret River, renowned for being the number one spot to get shitfaced on a winery tour, is buzzing with excitement as local Jack Robinson competes for gold in the Olympic surfing competition. Residents have united in support, raising glasses of the region's celebrated Shiraz as they cheer on their favorite surfer. Robinson made to the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who’s managed to rack up an almost perfect Uber customer rating has been forced to suck up some demerit points this weekend, after his mate got black out drunk enough to warrant a ride home, it’s reported. The Betoota Heights local, Gabe Rollins, 28, is alleged to have kept his Uber rating at a solid 4.96 for...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who has struggled to find a reliable dungeons and dragons group has finally found an answer to her woes, by using an unconventional method to court some reliable players, it’s reported. Tabitha Ann Howling, 28, tells The Advocate that not only had she struggled to find a dungeon master who was willing to invest hours and hours...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "What... What is this!?" asks the Greens Shadow Housing Minister, after opening the second door on the left in a discreet Queanbeyan fibro shack this afternoon. "Anthony? Where are you!?" Max Chandler-Mather has been invited to lunch today with the Prime Minister to begin negotiations on what the Greens say is a lacklustre housing policy. He was advised to come...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of the nation's only honest politicians has today spoken out about one of the giant elephants in the room at the 2024 Paris Olympics. With the first week of the competition coming to a close, Jacqui Lambie has today raised question marks about the performance of our Aussie blokes in the City of Love. "Frankly, some snow...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTCalls from the Australian sporting community continue to grow as the demand for 4-square handball to be included in the Olympics grows. Australians, who have long dominated the hallowed asphalt courts of playgrounds across the nation, are hoping to transform their  year 6 mastery into Olympic glory. "Mate, this is what we’ve been waiting for our whole lives," said Brett...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTAWESOME thumbs up NICE: Emily Sotherby (26), has proudly updated her LinkedIn profile to reflect her newfound expertise in "lifestyle coordination." The change comes on the heels of meticulously planning her upcoming 2024 European summer, which she insists is a full-time job and is “very time consuming”.  Emily, who recently returned from a 10-day "self-care retreat" in Byron...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTWHAT YOU DOING AFTER THIS? In local news, Sydney's rental inspection lines have emerged as Sydney’s latest hotspot for eligible bachelors. With the city’s dating scene notoriously difficult to navigate, single women are now flocking to these queues, hoping to find long leasing love.  Real estate agents are thrilled with the surge in attendance at open homes. They...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Olympic officials have officially declared that the water quality in the River Seine is safe enough host the men's and women's triathlon races at the Paris games. The event was originally scheduled to be held on yesterday but elevated levels of bacteria forced it to be delayed. However today organisers have confirmed that the river complied with requisite quality standards,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who used to have a penchant for visiting her doctor over every ache and boo boo has found herself miraculously cured of her hypochondria over the past couple of years, after the number of bulk billing doctors in her area continued to dwindle.Having been diagnosed with OCD and general anxiety, Hannah Wells admits she was quite...