The Nation

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local woman has today embarked on the impossible task of finding a reasonably priced one bedroom unit located near her work, it’s reported. Sarah Moore had spent the day perusing various real estate websites but wasn’t having much luck finding a studio that wasn’t the size of an airplane bathroom. “It’s even worse than when I...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT While working over the weekend in an Old City District start up, Betoota man Isaac Bennett (34) realised that he forgot to leave the city and live life off grid last year. A developer at Cryptotherapy, a crypto trading app that connects you with licensed therapists when your investments tank, Bennett has long talked about leaving the world of...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The wildflower state has bid farewell to the rest of Australia today as Western Australia was last seen detaching itself from the rest of the mainland and sailing into the sunset. At the time of writing, WA has heavily restricted travel to and from every other Australian state which is why their seven day average Covid cases is 10...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The NRL has announced that players will be banned from all indoor events for the duration of the 2022 season in order to minimise the spread of the virus amongst players and staff, marking another awkward occasion where the NRL has taken a modern challenge more seriously than the current government. These harsh restrictions have been criticised by many...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betoota local Jenelle Frost (28) has had a rough start to her year with the first text message she has received since Christmas being nothing more than a notice that she is a casual contact of a confirmed Covid case. After a rough couple of years, Frost states that her 2022 resolution is to not fall for any more...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT In a bid to curb his reputation for being less proactive, more reactive, Scott Morrison has decided to launch an entire siege of less important countries to pillage RATs, should his extremely urgent and unforeseen $62 million order take too long to deliver. The brilliant idea, which occurred after having a war movie themed sleepover with Dutton, prompted Scott...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Hotel Security Guard is working overtime to draft up a quirky Instagram caption, while he patiently waits for the ideal time to post his celebrity selfie with Novak Djokovic. After spending several days guarding the World No.1 Tennis star, it’s understood security guard Marcus Wilson (26) is itching to post his happy snap standing alongside the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A woman has today had her romantic feelings completely quashed in an instant after spying her crush’s bum crack peeking above his jeans.  It’s alleged Abbey Porter had developed a crush on a coworker, which had vastly improved her work satisfaction now that she had someone to flirt with everyday. Earning the interested glances of everyone in the office,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With the biggest outbreak we've had in full swing, another one of the nation's leaders has stepped up to the plate today. Speaking to media in Sydney this morning, the Premier of Newcastle, Sydney and Wollongong (NSW) has revealed that anyone who doesn't lodge a positive Rapid Antigen Tests will face a $1000 dollar fine. That new rule...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A millennial who long ago gave up hopes of ever owning a property has now had to contend with something she never thought she’d experience in her lifetime– a rental crisis. Jessie Bates admits that although she thought it could be a problem for future generations, she hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. Stating that she...