The Nation

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTOne of Betoota’s most eligible single gals is enjoying an extra cosy Uber ride home this morning as she enjoys the spoils of a great one night stand. Izzy Ernest-Leoty, a 26-year-old Advertising Account Manager from the Ponds, would be the first to admit she’s enjoying her single phase, a period she can bask in freely knowing...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The UFC 305 card, set to take place at Perth this August, keeps growing - with a new addition seemingly every day. This expanded card follows the news that Sydney's Tai 'Bam Bam' Tuivasa was locked in at the start of the week to fight world heavyweight number 12 Jairzinho Rozenstruik in a swang and bang type standing brawl. UFC...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA local girlfriend is about to call the police tonight as she looks to track down her boyfriend who’s been missing for over 10 hours. Tamika Woolnough (32) is a long-suffering WAG of the Bettoota Mutts, as her partner Damo plays 4th grade rugby for the side that’s won only one game all year. And whilst she enjoys...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a heartwarming display of modern parenting, James Fletcher (44), a successful career man, has once again restored his tenuous relationship with his son by gifting him yet another oversized duty-free Toblerone.  This generous act, performed when he arrived home after his 7th trip for the year only 10 minutes before his son was going to bed, has successfully...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn what is the biggest cultural development for Central-Western Sydney since the introduction of Lonsdale tracksuits, the rise of the Acai bowl might have been exactly what its beloved Canterbury Bulldogs were looking for this whole time. Sometimes known as 'The Area', the hard to define, nebulas region of Sydney has long self-identified itself as more cultured than the...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA bloke is marvelling at the wonder of nature this morning as he remembers when it feels like to soak up a sunrise without a trace of grog in his system.Joining the thousands of Aussies taking a break from booze this July, Sunny Coast draftsman Trent Musgrave (32) is three weeks into a dabble with sobriety,...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA plasma TV that was picked up off the side of the road is worth its weight in gold tonight as a university share house rugs up for winter. Stone broke and stone cold, the five flatmates of 116 Kevin-Campion Street are tucking into their favourite cheap Friday night activity, Settlers of Catan. Sitting on pillows around a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The revolution has finally arrived in the United Kingdom. After decades of being killed by a thousand economically rationalist cuts, the people of Britain have risen up to overthrow the ruling class. This comes after a dramatic election result saw a centrist barrister from a Grammar school elected to the top job. Billionaires have been seen fleeing from...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA local girl’s new fling has struggled to make a decent impression this morning after failing to contribute to the Saturday quiz. Seated around some bench seating at Blue Goose Cafe in the French Quarter, The Advocate understands Ciara Winters was using this morning’s fine weather to introduce her mates to her new fella, Mark. A new Hinge...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local saxophone tutor is making headlines for his nostalgia for a bygone era when he was the unsung hero behind the steamy saxophone riffs that graced countless 1980s movies sex scenes.  Reggie Yates (68), now a humble music teacher, has taken to sharing the golden memories of his past with his teenage students. “It was a great time to...