Bundaberg City Council Unveils Newest Tourist Attraction: The Big Black Eye
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
The city council of Bundaberg, Queensland have today unveiled what is sure to be a hit with travelling Irish and Scottish fruitpickers. The Big Black Eye.
This 7 foot statue is the first of many designs set to make way for a new and improved Bundaberg, with plans to develop the cities retired port into a water...
Non-Homeowners Fighting In Sydney Pub Interrupt 23 Separate Convos About Property Market
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A rare case of people showing some form of emotion in a licensed Sydney venue has resulted in an awkward pause in conversations about the city's property market this afternoon.
It is believed an actual fistfight that broke out over whose turn it was on poker machine has interrupted the other forty or so people who were drinking one or two...
Historic phone call between Trump and Turnbull cut short by Telstra outage
2 February, 2016. 11:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A number of news outlets around the world have reported that the historic phone call between US President Donald Trump and Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull ended when the American sanctimoniously hung up on the Member for Wentworth.
That's simply untrue, according to the PM's Office - who was quick to blame the nationwide...
Young Labor Member Vows To Not Rest Until Uni Coffee Prices Go Back To $3.50
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Young Labor Member and staunch advocate for the redistribution of wealth across Australian economic classes, Ella Wentworth (19) has made a promise to her comrades within the higher tertiary educational institution to which her father pays roughly $35k per year her to attend.
She's made a promise to never rest, until their demands are met.
"They think they can...
Pub staff aren’t sure whether the new glassie is Scottish or Irish
d2 February, 2016. 11:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A new hire at The Betoota Hotel has left the staff scratching their heads as to where he's from and what language or accent he's speaking with, says manager Jack Coleman.
He's fairly certain that the bloke is from the British Isles, Coleman has asked him more than once - but has...
PM Nervously Murmurs Without Saying Anything Specific To Reporters For 20 Minutes
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Reporters from literally every single media outlet in the country stood in front of Malcolm Turnbull moments ago with outstretched hands holding zoom recorders and iPhones.
Unfortunately, after twenty minutes, he was unable to give any of them anything close to a sound bite.
"Well" he started with, quite confidently.
"The thing is..."
"Trump."
"ummmm "
""
When asked his thoughts on the current...
HM The Queen recommends Trump take the tunnel next time he’s in Paris
1 February, 2016. 13:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Her Majesty The Queen has addressed calls for The Crown to cancel a planned state visit by US president Donald Trump later in the year by telling the media that no such thing will happen.
However, Queen Elizabeth did offer some advice to the president for when he visits Paris in the...
‘Married At First Signs Of Mental Illness’ Steals Ratings Top Spot For Light Entertainment Program
JOHN PEARSON | Television | Contact
Some Australians are mortified this evening, other's were entertained after the Nine Network's 'Married At First Signs of Mental Illness' concludes.
The nightly offering from Nine in this post-apocalyptic post-sporting cricket stretch of television has broken records as the first show on local screens to feature people that are almost completely detached from reality.
"We wanted...
Only White Kid On The Footy Team Can Turn His OneFour Accent On And Off When He Needs To
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Betoota Ponds teenager, Alex Murphy is particularly interested in the rich culture of Tonga and Samoa, it has been confirmed.
While sounding like a run-of-the-mill Aussie kid when he is at home with his parents, Scott and Trace, Alex lives a completely different life when he is 'in the trap' - a term our reporters have come to learn means...
Turnbull looks at his reflection and wonders what he even stands for anymore
31 January, 2016. 12:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The prime minister has revealed this afternoon that he's spent the past 48 hours in a hammock reflecting on his life and how he ended up in a situation such as the one that's been presented to him in the past week.
While many dual citizens of Australia and now-blacklisted Islamic nations...