The Nation

9 August, 2016. 11:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TOM FRANKLIN ARRIVED AT SYDNEY'S MacAlister College borderline illiterate. But he was a whole head over six foot and cut lean at 105kg. He could run quicker up a hill than most people could fall down one. Even as a schoolboy, people would come from far and wide to watch him run...

9 August, 2016. 11:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local man, Bryce Goodwin (29) was under the impression he nailed his quarterly performance presentation this morning, at the advertising agency he has worked at for eleven months. That was until he was sitting back down at his desk and saw his reflection on his laptop's standby screen. "Oh fuck" he says. "My lips!" Mr...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TUCKING INTO A HEARTY BOWL of Fruit Loops before heading off to his full-time night job maintaining electronic DVD rental carousels around northwestern Brisbane, Gavin Grogan always makes sure to double knot his hi-top Converse before heading out. The 37-year-old part-time-stay-at-home-son says not even his parents take him seriously when he tells them he wants...

6 August, 2016 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local punter, Greg Waterman (35) has spent the last 12 hours placing wildly unfounded bets on extremely obscure Olympic events. "It started with the swimming. I like to think that I know a bit about Australia's Olympic strongsuit," he says. "The ping pong was a bit more of an exciting bet. I really was doing some...

3 August, 2016. 12:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE LATEST VICTIMS IN THE great Australia media cull could be two of the nation's most controversial television presenters, with the Nine Network's replacing The Today Show with two retirees reading from the Daily Telegraph in bed. After a string of inappropriate statements regarding transgender Australians, Muslim migrants and the wider QUILTBAG community,...

3 August, 2016 10:35 MERV HARRIS | Property | CONTACT The Advocate can exclusively report this afternoon that Australia’s iconic Sydney Opera House looks to be sold to a Chinese investment conglomerate, who plan to develop the site into a harbourside apartment complex. A spokesperson for Property NSW, Keiren Baird (23) spoke to The Betoota Advocate on the condition of anonymity. "The handover went through this morning,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DECIDING WHO SHOULD BE PATIENT zero is proving to be the biggest hurdle for the producers of Network 10's floundering springtime offering, The Bachelor, as they toy with the idea of introducing chlamydia amongst contestants. Considered by most as being a 'rite-of-passage' sexually transmitted infection that's widely abundant wherever young people are forced to live together,...

2 August, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SLITHERING HIS SICKLY PALE body into the back of a taxi last night, local printing and packaging specialist Peter Cole could hardly believe his luck as receptionist Tina slotted in through the other door. She's the smiling face at the front desk, the kind ear that pretends to care about what some...

31 July, 2016. 13:04 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JOHN WHISTLER HATED AMY WINEHOUSE when she was alive, but in death, he says she's one of his biggest inspirations and musical influences. He finds Pink Floyd to be dull, says Led Zeppelin are the biggest plagiarists in modern music, but he adamant Lynyrd Skynyrd should be held on a similar musical...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Johnny Walker announced today that they're targeting people who have four-car garages, above ground spas from Clark Rubber and jet skis with their new Blue Label & Cola cans. The product is set to launch later this year with quite a hefty price tag. Recommended retail starts at up to $25 each in every six...