The Nation

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact The US presidential debate between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump kicked off at 9pm ET, resulting in a thrilling 90 minute debate that could be best described as a passive aggressive marriage counselling session. Moderated by ‘World News Tonight’ anchor David Muir and ABC News Live ‘Prime’ anchor Linsey Davis, who acted as the weary counsellors ready to chime...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Labor Party’s base is shrinking by the day, now that Australia’s regions are no longer dominated by hard-headed communists who are willing to bash anyone for supporting those softcocks from the Liberal Party. This decline in voters has increased steadily since Labor first tried to yuppify and distance themselves from the country towns and industrial suburbs once dominated...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Liberal Party is staring down the barrel of a possible extinction, as Australian voters realise that endless wars and Christian righteousness really doesn't improve living standards. The Howard-era playbook of stoking racial division and xenophobia also appears to be less effective than it ever was, especially when elections are now decided by an increasingly multicultural population who aren't...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man in Melbourne for business this week has noticed the police cars are all Volkswagens, which caused him to do a bit of thinking during his morning walk through the city snow. Crunching through the melt along the Main Yarra Trail, grain trader Jackson Elders watched a cop van scream past. As...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTSPRING HAS SPRUNG: In a move that has rocked the very foundations of her social circle, local “Woo Girl” Cassie Edwards has officially declared the arrival of spring—by ditching her winter staple, the almond cap, in favour of her beloved iced lattes. Cassie took to social media yesterday with an Instagram story featuring her  first iced latte of...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today admitted that she relies solely on having tattoos to accessorise her outfits, revealing that she can’t be fucked with wearing jewellery. Megan Ellis, 28, a nursing student from Betoota Heights, says her collection of patchwork tattoos makes her look interesting enough without the need to try hard - in fact, most of the time,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who’s dated quite a few gaming addicts in her life now reckons she’s stumbled upon a dating hack, by successfully screening blokes by their gaming preferences, it’s reported. Emily Sutton, 28, an avid gamer herself, says she believes a person’s preferred gaming style can reveal key aspects of their personality - citing that she now refers to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's federal Treasurer has today revealed why everything is pretty grim economically at the moment. Speaking to The Advocate in an exclusive interview about the state of the economy, Dr Jimothy Chalmers has explained that the current economic woes of the nation are all the Reserve Bank's fault. Talking a pivot from the Prime Minister's youthful spin...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who was able to single handedly reduce a popular Betoota Ponds pub’s outdoor operating hours with a slew of noise complaints has been caught having a loud yarn on the train today, with onlookers stating they were forced to listen to him whinge on the phone to his wife for forty minutes straight. Seated directly across from...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With schooners going for nearly $10 in even the most humble suburban pubs, and supermarket trolleys now costing the equivalent of a months rent in 1980, the delusional political class still insist that Australia's young people don't know how to save. From David Koch, to the plodding Murdoch economists, to every greying talkback radio host in the country -...