The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The cold-blooded online bookmakers that snuck into our lives during the GFC have created a world where working Australians now have up to ten different sportsbetting accounts pinging bonus bets and special odds directly into their pockets at every minute of the day. However, the government remains firm that these tax-dodging sportsbetting giants are not above the law, because...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent Victorian slumlord has today sought penance for the many sins that have ensured he remains rich enough to donate to the Liberal Party and advertise his shoddily built luxury apartments in both The Age and Herald Sun property inserts. Even though Jim Burner (43) has convinced himself that his success in the fool-proof property speculation industry is...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn what feels like a monthly occurrence now, iconic Australian music festival ‘Bluesfest’ have announced they'll be shutting down in 2025, after 30 years on the scene. It follows the shock cancellation of the Splendour in the Grass festival, which was due to be held in July, while other events such as the Falls festival and Groovin the Moo...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a tale as old as time, local bloke Alan Flemming, 36 has today found himself struggling to decipher his doctor's handwritten note, after also failing to understand what the doctor was saying to him. Unlike clinics stationed in the more metro areas in Betoota, ‘The Ponds Medical Centre’ opened in 1902, has failed to enter the 21st century,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter copping some major backlash for reversing the government’s hybrid work policy, NSW premier Chris Minns has now decided to soften the blow by promising all female public servants a daily 3pm ‘sweet treat’, should they return to the office full time, it’s reported. Last week, it was learned that the secretary of the Premier’s department sent a directive...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTAn Australian tourist has unintentionally won the gold medal in the Olympic power walking event after a wild night in Paris involving an excessive amount of the local party stimulant. Lachlan Murphy (28) didn't even know that the Olympics would be on at the same time he'd be in Paris during his Euro summer. What was even more surprising...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Worthless office drone Brad Jenkins has taken won LinkedIn today according to colleagues and acquaintances alike after posting a short video of himself performing autofellatio. The video, which eschewed the usual corporate platitudes and humblebrags, has been hailed as a refreshing departure from the norm, garnering praise from dozens of local users. The post, simply...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThough sleep paralysis is a terrifying ordeal for anyone, it seems that the cold winter months have caused one woman’s imagination to run into overdrive, that’s reportedly ‘way worse than the time she started seeing shadow people when overdoing it with mdma.’ Grace Dawes, a nurse from Betoota Heights, says she’s been so spooked by her sleep paralysis that...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman burnt out by dating apps has now come up with a efficient system of screening her dates, which will ensure she’s able to quickly glean red flags, it’s reported. Sick of getting invested in blokes only to find out they’re fuckboys later down the track, Anne Howard, 33, says this new method should allow her to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Embattled regional airline REX is rumoured to have acquired a small fleet of ex-Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) aircraft to stay in the metro aviation market. The airline has neither confirmed nor denied the scuttlebutt; however, one source from inside REX has told The Advocate on the condition of anonymity that the wheels are in...