World News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The United States' National Football Team has today re-affirmed its commitment to gender equality - by making a strong statement at the FIFA World Cup. Their women's team has this week followed in the footsteps of their male counterparts, by packing their bags and exiting the tournament in the Round of 16. The huge statement comes a year...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Just weeks after she lost her voice screaming along to all of her favourite songs on her favourite pop star's long-awaited Australian tour, local woman Chantelle (28, Betoota Grove) is today confronting a brutal identity crisis that was dropped on her overnight like a tonne of bricks. The late 20s paralegal is just one of millions of Lizzbians...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact Historical records have proven that back in the year of our Lord 2020, Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg bought a 36% stake in F45.  The Advocate can confirm that it even made sense at the time. A sexy gymnasium training brand joining forces with a wildly successful movie star known for his love of the gym. Let’s face it, it is not...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT English loudmouth Piers Morgan is today coming to terms with that fact his country sucks.  The media personality who makes a living out of saying silly things has thoroughly entertained over the last few weeks by dipping his toe into the world of cricket.  Initially throwing a tantrum about Johnny Bairstow being legally dismissed, Piers has since carried on about...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Spirit of Cricket is rolling in its grave this morning, after having the Australian team spit in its face. Famous for it's desire to see the English cricket team win matches playing the greatest style of cricket ever seen by humankind (aka scoring at one more run an over and making wildly foolish declarations and lack thereof),...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has today confirmed Australia's acceptance into an illustrious club. The travelling PM has revealed that we have been accepted into the Climate Club - an international group made up of a bunch of countries all over the world, but mostly Europe. The Climate Club, which started in the parking lot of a local bar,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Australian Cricket team are today celebrating another victory in the Ashes. After a see saw Day 4 in the 3rd Test, the Aussies have decided to just feel like they won the match. The relatively low scoring affair did technically see the English win by 3 wickets on paper, however that hasn't gotten in the way of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After an exciting 48 hours in the world of cricket, the English cricketing team have confirmed they want to keep the good times rolling. This comes after the players, coaching staff and greater cricketing establishment revealed they want to keep sooking for the foreseeable future. The sooking comes as a result of the Johnny Bairstow dismissal, which the...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT White Lotus! Euphoria! Succession! The Idol?  In a stunning turn of events, HBO's much-anticipated series, ‘The Idol,’ has left audiences with a resounding applaud of silence. After months of hype and anticipation, viewers were left with the overall feeling of ‘the ick’ after watching The Idol. Unsure if they’d watched a drama series or a leaked tape of Lily-Rose...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Why don't you go watch an Australian singer" Betoota Heights dad, Nic Koronis (45) says to his three teenage daughters who are gathered around the laptop this morning. "What about someone like Natalie Imbruglia, or Vanessa Amarossi... What's the obsession with this yank shit" This follows the news that the pre-sale tickets for the Sydney shows of the Taylor Swift...