World News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Chrus Hupkuns hes been sworn un es New Zeelund’s 41st prume munuster, followung the unexpected resugnetuon lest week of Jecunda Ardurn. Hupkuns, 44, hes promused e beck-to-besucs epproech focusung on telkung shut ebout the Ozzies.  He wull heve less then nune months before contestung a tough generel electuon, wuth opunuon polls unducetung hus Lebour Perty u trailung uts conservetuve opposution. New...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Some residents of the city of Los Angeles have received quite a shock today, after seeing a naked man appear out of nowhere. Following a random and localised cluster of lightning on one of the streets in the heart of the famous city, a man was found lying on the ground. After frantically asking confused bystanders what the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Kiwi journalists are in a frenzy today, after Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern revealed she is resigning from the job. The bombshell news came this morning, with Ardern handing in her two weeks notice. The generally well regarded Prime Minister says she's stepping away from public service role for a lucrative job in the private sector. Ardern says she's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If you've just returned from an enjoyable Christmas break with your family and friends, then you might not be aware of the most recent development in internet identity politics. It seems that millennials may only have just discovered what the word 'nepotism' means. Only five years since the all-consuming US Presidential election between Hilary CLINTON and Donald TRUMP, the generation...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local car detailer from Betoota Ponds has this week returned from this mad joint in Bali with a deep desire to continue his avid research into the ancient history and cultural traits of South-East Asia. Warren Combs, was a self-confessed amatuer traveller a week ago. But he says that's all changed. At 30 years of age, the former five-eighth...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In his highly anticipated autobiography, Spare, Prince Harry recounts what he says was 'cruel, torturous treatment' from his brother, William, now Prince of Wales, during endless Halo sessions at one of the Royal Family's 356 holiday estates. Describing one particular confrontation at the 'preferred Summer house', Harry says William would never allow him to use the more player-friendly Xbox...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that comes as no surprise to actual fans of the World Game, Argentina has won the 2022 FIFA World Cup. Playing arguably the greatest World Cup Final since Diego Armando Maradona got it done in 1986, Argentina managed to beat France 4-2 on penalties after an enthralling 3-3 finish after extra time. The game looked...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The billionaire apartheid prodigy Elon Musk has this week once again reminded the world that trust fund baby entrepreneurs are best seen and not heard. This comes as the 51-year-old South African works tirelessly to undo his rather cool legacy of building driverless cars and sending rockets to Mars, and instead focuses on broadcasting his midlife crisis to the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of Australia has confirmed today that it is refusing to join the United Kingdom on its spiral into a deep radical leftist state.  This comes after Australia rejected an energy plan put forward by a mega-billionaire conservative politician who is the Prime Minister of the UK. The UK system, which was designed by Rishi Sunak (the PM who...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A damning scientific report has been released today, and it makes for bad reading for two of the world's most notable fan bases. The new piece of research has confirmed that the English national football team is essentially the global equivalent of the Parramatta Eels. Authored by the International Body For Sports Psychology, the report is titled "Is...