World News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Joe Biden has today announced a giant package to help those who have fallen upon tougher times. The new President has revealed a trillion-dollar bailout for the Hedge Funds negatively affected by the GameStop Financial Crisis (GFC) and wasted little time in assuring Wall Street that the new administration has his full support. A number of hedge funds,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT It has been less than a couple of weeks since Donald Trump left the White House with all the grace of a personally offended manchild breaking a 150-year tradition because he is sad. Just like the ancestors of his closest supporters, Trump has retreated to the south after four years of being racist and failing to overthrow the government,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After reading the room, US investment app Robinhood has announced they will be immediately rebranding. Following a wave of controversy after their efforts to protect Wall Street hedge fund managers and the big end of town from everyday investors, the app named after the noble thief Robin Hood is set to change its name to Sheriff Of Nottingham....

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Wall Street has quoted popular Logan driller's No Money Enterprise today and issued a strong message to the GameStop nerds; Playtime's over, here to take over, we ain't playing no games. The warning comes after the top end of town have tried to shut down this GameStop craze. "Joke's over you fucking peasants," explained one Hedge Fund Manager named...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the UK becomes the first country in Europe to pass 100,000 coronavirus-related deaths, the people of 'Great Britain' are beginning to come to terms with the fact that the bumbling fool they elected, might actually be a bumbling fool. The realisation comes after the leader who prides himself on looking like a dad who has just woken...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Former democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has taken the internet by storm this week, for acting like an elected official who is paid by tax-payers to turn up to work and vote on bills. His lack of designer clothes, or red carpet handshaking, has been positioned as a quirky branding exercise - as social media struggles to understand...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The famous rock ballad 'Zombie' was the first ever song with a female vocalist to reach one billion views on YouTube - and it hasn't left the top ten charts in Thailand since it was released in 1994. The Cranberries hit is remembered as "a masterpiece of alternative rock" - and one that exposed the world to the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The freshly inaugurated US President Joe Biden has received an outpouring of support and congratulations from world leaders who are mostly just relieved to be able to take a photo with the US President without copping a hiding back home.  Engaging in a bit of international diplomacy, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison, has made sure to send his well...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Joe Biden has been sworn in as the 46th President of the United States today, after four years of chaos that came with the unexpected Republican outsider that was Donald Trump. Biden has since addressed America for the first time as President, vowing to end the "uncivil war" in a deeply divided country reeling from racial tensions and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government has earmarked $4.5 billion to spend on 29 new Apache attack helicopters to help prevent further invasions by American pigeons. Earlier this week, a racing pigeon got lost in America and turned up in Melbourne. Due to the biohazard risk, the government has said they will catch and kill the bird. "The risk...