World News

Trump Clarifies The Direct Threat He Made About Shooting Protestors Was More A Vague Threat

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Donald Trump has today attempted to provide context to the extremely emotive language he used when threatening the lives of American citizens protesting the public murder of an unarmed black man by Minneapolis police. "When the looting starts, the shooting starts" Mr Trump tweeted, paying direct homage to a quote from Walter E. Headley, the former...

Unidentified Flying Objects Identified As UFOs In New Footage

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The UFO community is abuzz today after the Pentagon reluctantly revealed the unidentified flying objects seen in footage declassified and released late last month are actually UFOs. The footage, shot by US Navy pilots in 2004 and 2015, shows small bright lights moving in an unconventional manner, to the surprise of the pilots. Although leaked and released to the public in 2017,...

Rioters Ruin Their Chances Of Working For $6 An Hour With No Healthcare By Destroying Target

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Protesters have torched a police station, looted shops and graffitied public buildings in their calls for justice in Minneapolis - with the sentiment spreading across other cities in America overnight. The Twin Cities Riots continue to escalate five days after an unarmed and handcuffed black man was murdered on camera by Minnesota police officers on May 25th. However, politicians...

“Rioting Is Over The Top” Says Man That Took An AR15 To Town Hall Because He Wanted A Haircut

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Protests have turned into riots throughout middle America overnight, as the citizen response to the Minnesota police murder of George Floyd descends into fires and looting. The pressure cooker of racially-charged police brutality in America appears to have finally boiled over, with thousands of protestors taking to the streets in both Minneapolis and other cities overnight. President Donald Trump...

Report: Sitting Opposite From Elon Musk At A Wedding Would Be The Absolute Pits

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new survey by Betoota's leading wedding magazine 'HITCHED' has found that there aren't many people in the world that would be worse to sit opposite from at a wedding than South-African-Canadian edgepreneur, Elon Musk. Elon Musk just scraped to number one, above the likes of Carol Baskin, Henry Kissinger, Ellen DeGenres and that little shit who bought...

Russel Crowe Cast As Jeff Lowe In New TV Production Of Tiger King

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The new Tiger King series is set to have a distinct Aussie flavour the Betoota Advocate can reveal this morning. Speaking exclusively to us this morning Russel Crowe has revealed that he's taken a role in the new fictitious depiction of the Tiger King chronicles. The popular show depicts the going's on of the Big Cat scene in...

Hope Fading As Captain Planet Tests Positive For COVID-19

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The USA has been dealt a severe blow in President Donald Trump's self-imposed ‘War Against CoronaVirus’ as ‘90s children TV icon Captain Planet has tested positive for COVID-19. Famous for uniting kids around the world to fight for Planet Earth, Captain Planet was the star of Captain Planet and the Planeteers, a program that educated children on pollution, drug...

North Korea Hint To Possible Successor For Kim Jung-un With New Basketball Hoop In Pyongyang

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT International diplomats are in overdrive today, as the world prepares for the possibility of seeing a new leader instated as the head of one of the world's most secretive dynasties. This comes as CNN reports that North Korea's leader Kim Jong-un was gravely unwell after surgery, leaving his country and the world in a limbo as to who is...

Local Dad Still Yet To See Jordan At Halfway Point Of 2001 Teen Romance ‘Save The Last Dance’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After two months in iso, local dad Kel McCaffertey (54) has really been getting to know the endless online archives of the family TV and film streaming services that he never realised he was paying for. With a long list of recommendations he will not be following up from his mates with questionable taste, Kel has been researching...

‘Oh Well, At Least I’m Not In America Right Now’ Sighs Unemployed Local Woman

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an effort to find some consolation amongst the current circumstances, local Job Seeker Alisha Wilson has found solace in the fact she doesn't live in the United States of America right now. Sitting at her dining table in her 4 person sharehouse in Betoota's French Quarter, the young out of work hopso employee told The Advocate that she likes...

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