World News

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In shocking news from the wrestling world today, legend John Cena has announced his WWE retirement in an emotional farewell speech. Many fans were left confused by the wrestler's touching speech, after he spent almost 2 decades not being seen by anyone. "Wait, who is this guy?" Said one audience member. "I have never seen this man in my life. Why...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT America's Democratic Party have made a bombshell revelation about who they will be taking to the upcoming US election. A party insider has confirmed to The Advocate this evening (Australian time) that they are about to press the button on a new Presidential Candidate. The Democrats are sensationally set to hand the presidential nomination to a man who...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact The third season of Disney+ and FX’s drama series ‘The Bear’ has returned to screen to rewrite the script on the hospitality industry.  The new season has shattered stereotypes that chefs are suave characters, by representing the gritty, chaotic and emotionally charged reality behind the doors of a kitchen that's so authentic, any person who’s ever worked in a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Lionel Messi fans are today walking on clouds today, after a rather amusing morning in the European Football Championships. For those who aren't familiar, the title of modern GOAT centres around Messi vs Ronaldo, often making for a heated discussion amongst football fans. The title of the actual GOAT is obviously shared by Pele and Maradona. The newest...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Joe Biden and former US President Donald Trump are today on stage together for the first time in four years, as the two geriatrics argue over who should lead the most powerful country in the world until 2028.. With Biden clocking in at 81 years of age, and Trump at 78, both men are too old to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The New York Police Department can confirm that pop superstar Justin Timberlake showed little resistance when arrested for drink driving in Long Island last night. The 10-time Grammy winner was taken into custody at midnight in the wealthy Hamptons enclave of Sag Harbor. The pop star claimed to have consumed just “one martini" while partying late in the evening at...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Joe Biden and his entire family now stand accused of being one of the most notorious crime families in America. Worse than the Gambino Family from New York and the Winterhill Gang from Boston. Worse than Griselda Blanco's Colombian outfit in Miami. This comes as a federal jury in Delaware convicted President Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, on felony...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Donald Trump's 2024 Presidential Campaign is in full swing, despite the fact that he is now the first former United States president to be convicted of felony crimes. A New York jury has found him guilty of all thirty charges that stem from falsifying business records in a scheme to illegally influence the 2016 election through hush money...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A white middle class Australian man, whose most formative teenage years fell upon him during the turbulent late 1990s, can finally relax today. 37-year-old financial equities analyst, Henry Menzies, was elated to learn today that American rapper Eminem's daughter has ended up happily married to a nice enough looking bloke, with her dad by her side at the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A furious Peter Dutton has today taken to the media to call for drastic action. The nation's Opposition Leader has demanded that Australia boycott the upcoming T20 World Cup and leave the ICC. Dutton made the staggering claims this morning, after what he says were 'outrageous comments' from the International Cricket Council. The Opposition leader has explained his...