World News

God Not Sure How Many More Signs He Can Send To Prompt Climate Change Action

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact In an exclusive interview with The Advocate, the supreme being, creator deity and principal object of faith, God, says he’s at a complete loss about what else he can do to let the human race know that it’s fucking up the planet. “Have you seen what I’ve caused in 2019 alone?” says God in a voice that’s exactly like...

Report: Facebook Needs To Reign It The Fuck In With These Memories

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A recent report carried out by the Social Media Accountability Society (SMAS) has found that Facebook needs to chill the fuck out with is algorithm-generated memories from the past. Unlike a normal human who can selectively forget the horrendous phases and actions from their past, the Facebook algorithm doesn’t forget a thing and seemingly loves reminding us of them. This...

Drug Dealer Who Sells To 30% Of Town Can’t Be Blamed For Ice Plague Coz He Only Smokes 1.3%

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT On the lower half of the lower-mid Queensland Coast sits a troubled town by the name of Gymboolture. Like most regional epicentres in Australia, Gymboolture is currently being ravaged by crystal methamphetamines. So much, so that it's now destroying homes and making it hard for residents to walk outside without some sort of protection. The circulation of dirty money...

Australians Left Feeling Confused After Seeing A Prime Minister Do Something During A Disaster

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians are once again feeling weirded out by New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, after she immediately addressed the nation following devastating volcanic eruption that engulfed tourists on the country's White Island. More than 20 people are still missing after the eruption rocked the two kilometre-wide island at 2:11pm local time, sending plumes of white smoke, ash...

Disney+ To Create More Realistic Prince Who Is In Elite Paedophile Sex Ring

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving they are for all children, entertainment conglomerate The Walt Disney Company continues to fill their movies with the most financially viable representation possible. American Comedy icon Jo Koy joins the editors on the podcast this week before he begins the Australian leg of his world tour. Have a listen here: Once famously white and heterosexual, modern Disney Princesses are...

Unemployed Influencer Captions Latest Holiday Pic As A ‘Much Needed Break’

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local influencer Ashley Stein is spending yet another weekend in Vanuatu, courtesy of her much older boyfriend, Adam. The twenty-two-year-old has kept her followers up to date with her every move, which has so far included a day spent lounging about in a tiny bikini and drinking colourful cocktails by the ocean. Though these images look exactly the...

“I’m All Good But Thanks Bro” Jesus Tells Kanye

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Jesus Christ has today announced that he is distancing himself from self-proclaimed creative genius Kanye West after the release of Kanye’s latest album, ‘Jesus is King’. The album, Kanye’s first since his “Christian awakening” has received mixed reviews. In a press conference hosted by Pearly Gates Media, Jesus was very clear that the relationship was wearing thin. “I’ve been...

“Kanye’s New Album Sucks!” Says White Girl Who Just Wishes He’d Do Another Song With Maroon 5

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A early wave millennial who really enjoyed Kanye West's music before he got all black and political has today now criticised his new gospel album. She thinks that making an album like Jesus Is King is such a weird thing for the practicing Christian music producer to do. This is why Libby Soy (35) has today made it clear, to...

England Fans Ecstatic After Defeating Backwater English Colony In Game That England Invented

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of England is reportedly over the moon after winning a game they invented a while back. This comes after the English defeated the All Blacks 19-7 in one of the most dominant displays of rugby in recent times, knocking the former backwater colony out of the Rugby World Cup. The win sends the English into the...

Homesick Wallabies Fan Craving A Meat Pie In Japan Chases Down Some Horse Sashimi

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A young Wallabies fan abroad has been craving a little slice of home for a few days now. So, the Queensland man named James Whitely-Smith decided to hit the streets of Tokyo and try and treat his tastes buds to something familiar. With a few days to go until the Semi-Final match, he ambitiously bought tickets to, Whitely-Smith...

Social

781,079FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
119,365FollowersFollow

Breaking News