King Charles Deeply Concerned The Man Checking His Enlarged Prostate Might Have Fingers Like His
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn inside source of the royal family has informed The Advocate that King Charles has some trepidations about his impending surgery to fix an enlarged prostate, which is to be performed next week.
The details of King Charles enlarged prostate has circulated online this morning, leading many to ponder whether we should all know less about each other. However,...
Italian PM Calls For A Return To ‘Pax Romana’ As Levant Was Most Peaceful As Part Of The Roman Empire
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As the world leaders continue to sit on their hands over the ongoing conflict in Palestine, the Italian Prime Minister has mulled a potential solution.
Speaking freely in Rome this morning, Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni made the suggestion that a return of "Pax Romana" could potentially be a solution that brings an end to...
Trump Gets His Groove Back With More Fake Tan Than A Divorced Mum In First Bodybuilding Competition
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Former US President and probable next US President Donald Trump is off and running, in his 2024 election campaign.
With Australian political nerds and, like maybe a quarter of America turning its gaze to the State of Iowa, Donald Trump absolutely smoked his Republican counterparts in the first formal act of the election season.
In a state famous...
DVA Still As Woefully Shithouse As They Were 50 Years Ago Despite Our Submarines Costing $400B
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Despite the millions of dollars spent on endless inquiries into the institutional failings that have let down our most vulnerable returned servicemen since the Vietnam war, it can once again be confirmed that the Department Of Veteran Affairs is just as shithouse as it was 50 years ago.
In fact, recent statistics make the songs of Jimmy Barnes sound...
97% Of Tasmania Now In Line To The Danish Throne After Princess Mary Becomes Queen
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The island republic of Tasmania is kicking 2024 off with a bang, it can be confirmed today.
In a turn of events that few would have ever predicted, 97 percent of Tasmanians are now directly in line to the Danish throne.
This comes after Princess Mary became Queen Mary overnight - with her husband Frederik becoming the King...
“Holy Shit. This Has Gotta Stop” Says Albo After Reading Folder Titled ‘Gaza’ That Sat On Desk For 60 Days
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Anthony Albanese has today joined the Prime Ministers of New Zealand and Canada in a joint statement calling for a sustainable ceasefire in the Gaza Strip and an end to the “continuous suffering” of its citizens.
This comes after two months of hot death and horror and on the Gaza strip, with health authorities estimating that Israel’s offensive has...
Taylor Swift Makes A Bold Statement: “Free P.. Free Pale.. Free Pale Ales For Concert Dads!”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After launching a record-shattering global tour and becoming the world's most-streamed musical artist of the year, Taylor Swift has been named as Time Magazine's "Person of the Year".
Taylor Swift joins the likes of Mahatma Gandhi (1930) Martin Luther King Jr. (1963) Angela Merkel (2015) and 92 other high-profile global figures that have changed the course of history with...
Kissinger’s Posthumously Released Spotify Wrapped Surprisingly Reveals Aussie Duo As Top Artist
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some news that nobody on the face of the earth saw coming, it's been revealed that Henry Kissinger was a massive fan of Australian EDM duo Bombs Away.
The family of the former Nobel Peace Price winning war criminal have confirmed to The Advocate that the US Diplomat used to actually love the Aussie party boys who broke...
Tributes Flow For One Of The World’s Most Beloved War Criminals: “Dead At 100, Far Too Late”
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Tributes are today pouring in for one of the titans of modern history, Doctor Henry Kissinger.
The former US National Security Advisor and Secretary of State passed away yesterday afternoon Australian time, leaving behind a legacy of millions of deaths and hundreds of millions of lives ruined by his aggressive pursuit of America's Imperial interests - as well...
Ridley Scott Wastes $200 Million In Futile Attempt At Making Greatest Napoleon Movie Of All Time
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The man behind a swathe of classic and well loved movies has this year wasted a significant chunk of time.
Ridley Scott has just spent months and months (and lots of other people's money) making a fancy new Napoleon movie, that simply won't live up to the one and only Napoleon movie.
The man responsible for films like...
