2015 Determined To Cram In More Despair Before New Year
31 December, 2015 16:55
DUSTIN WAGIN | Contributor | CONTACT
Associated Press is reporting that 2015 – a year universally agreed to be a ‘miserable shitstorm of woe and horror’ (according to the UN) – is determined to cram in even more despair before year’s end.
“Yep, there’s only three days left but that’s all this bastard year needs, I’m sure,” stated Dr. Turi Korlenzki,...
Mrs Claus Reportedly Suffering Severe Stomach Cramps, Heavy Christmas Period To Blame
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
TROMSØ, NORWAY (AAP) -
The wife of a prominent religious figure has been airlifted to hospital from the remote region of Lapland, within the Scandinavian Arctic Circle. It is reported that the patient, known for her international philanthropy, was struck down by severe stomach cramps and is confirmed to be emotionally exhausted.
The patient has been identified as Mrs...
Desperate Middle Eastern Family Forced To Sell Video Of Daughter Having Sex
16 December, 2015 14:45
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After the loss of their father, a desperate Armenian-American family were forced to sell and distribute a video of their middle daughter having sex in a hotel room, in order to survive - it has been confirmed.
"They were forced to.. It was their only option. If they hadn't sold that video when they did,...
Cause of Barack Obama’s constant headache discovered during MRI scan
7 December, 2015. 14:06
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AFTER INHERITING THE economic, political and foreign policy mistakes of the previous government, US President Barack Obama has revealed that since taking office, he's been struck down by crippling migraines. Doctors at Howard University Hospital in Washington D.C. have finally been able to isolate the cause of the president's headaches, which are clearly...
Obama Takes A Break From Climate Summit To Enjoy French Winter Sun
2 December, 2015 10:05
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
PALOMA PAGE, France — Over the next two weeks, 30,000 diplomats and delegates will labor to hammer out a new global pact that would, for the first time, commit nearly every country on earth to enact new policies to reduce their planet-warming greenhouse gas emissions.
However, one of the biggest international names to attend the...
Corey Worthington Treats Bride With Surprise Hilltop Hoods Performance
1 December, 2015 11:45
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
AUSTRALIA’S ultimate teen party boy Corey Worthington has grown up into a respectable young man. The 24-year-old millionaire put on a beautiful "Australians-in-Bali" themed wedding for his young bride, Mel Borg (28) over the weekend.
Worthington, an Australian household name, shot to fame after throwing an out-of-control party when he was just 16 in Melbourne....
This Amazing App Tells You Which Of Your Friends Are Secretly Racist
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An amazing app developed by a group of young tech entrepreneurs from Massachusetts is being praised for it's accuracy in determining which of your friends are racist, or think women are mostly responsible for domestic violence.
Facebook (also known as 'The Face Book') has developed an algorithm that notifies users every time one of their friends has racist thoughts or begin...
Displaced Middle Eastern Family Give Birth While Waiting To Be Processed By Government
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the ongoing European refugee crisis remaining a divisive political issue, over 2.8 billion people have shown their support for a young Middle Eastern family who were forced to give birth in an unhygienic agricultural premises, after being denied refuge by an entire city.
Yusuf and Maryam, both 14, say that their pleas for asylum fell on deaf ears...
Tourists continue to get their hands wet in American toilets
13 November, 2015. 10:05
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SAM GREENBRANCH SAID he had the holiday of a lifetime ahead of him. While most of his friends took the easy road out and headed to Europe for the cheaper off-season holiday, the 24-year-old data entry specialist decided last minute to spend his allocated two weeks holiday in the United States.
He...
Witty Catholic Priest Wins Over Royal Commission With Hilarious Anecdotes
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Irish-Australian Catholic Priest, Paddy O’Mutty has beguiled the entire Commission in to Institutional Responses To Child Sexual Abuse the investigation into abuse in the Catholic Church with his down to earth wit, rollicking stories, and lyrical accent.
O’Mutty, who has been charged with 49 counts of interfering with minors, and who has earned a reputation in the...