World News

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Hip-hop icon Snoop Dogg has reportedly embarked on the production of a grunge album, blaming the creative decision on unexpected mood swings resulting from a temporary withdrawal from cannabis. Known globally for his love for marijuana, Snoop Dogg's decision to take a brief hiatus from his traditional west coast sound was met with shock and disbelief from fans. However,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news from one of India's largest cities, a bunch of convicts have managed to win something quite significant. At roughly 2am this morning Betoota time, a bunch of loosers (sic) won an important game of cricket in Ahmedabad. The game of cricket in question was the final of the ODI World Cup, with 48 matches of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Australian Ambassador to Scandinavia's South Australia has taken the phone off the hook this afternoon because the Danish Government is refusing to back down over the naming rights of Danish Feta. The correct term, according to Denmark, is Danish-style feta for any food stuff made outside their borders. However, businesses and regulatory bodies around...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 1000's of highly trained experts have today been cast into an existential crisis, after a sledgehammer blow from an Australian intellectual. Members of the fields of science and economics are currently question the value of their life's work, after being informed by Tony Abbott that they are members of a 'climate cult that will eventually be discredited.' The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The world of fashion is all set to experience another exciting trend, it can be confirmed today. Celebrity icon Kim Kardashian has today revealed a stunning new male underwear line, that has set tongues wagging around the globe. Famous for being famous, Kardashian is releasing a line of male undies that come with an inbuilt 'stiffy feature.' The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The President of the United States of America has today reminded the world about his interesting position on certain things. The leader of America's 'progressive' party, Biden has been quite vocal over the last few weeks about supporting Israel's actions in Gaza. His position comes off the back of a long political career supporting the state of Israel,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As hundreds of millions of ordinary citizens rally around the world to demand a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, the rest of the world watches on with either sheer confusion or psychopathic indifference. Sadly, just like when millions marched against the War in Iraq, and millions marched against Vietnam - it seems the desperate pleas of the people are...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Two triple rugby world cup champions will face each other at the Stade de France on Sunday morning, when New Zealand and South Africa fight it out for the Webb Ellis Cup. The All Blacks have already set one record – this is their fifth World Cup final appearance. Their only final loss was in 1995, against South Africa,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Winemakers from the continent of Europe have today been dealt a significant blow, after a lawsuit was launched against them. In the wake of the snobby Europeans carrying on about their Feta and Prosecco and Champagne, Australia has now hit back by launching an injunction to prevent any primary producers in Europe labelling their wine as Passion Pop....

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT TV and sports fans in Australia have today issued a plea to all of the major streaming services. In the wake of the huge reception to the Beckham documentary, there have been growing calls for a series about the actual greatest power couple the world has ever seen. "Becks and Posh is great, but now it's time to...