CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Queenslanders head to the polls for a state election this Saturday, with over 900,000 votes already cast by mail.
What looked like a slam dunk for an unknown LNP, up against a Labor Government still maligned by the pandemic, has turned into anything but that.
While the Murdoch Machine and the Opposition have tried their very hardest to make this election about nothing but exaggerated youth crime statistics, it seems that their party’s dodgy record of trying to criminalise abortion has become the focal point.
For young women who value their rights to reproductive healthcare, Labor has emerged as the clear preference.
Meanwhile, Premier Steven Miles has also gained traction with young males, after posting a video of himself cracking the 100kg on bench press.
This has left the LNP scrambling to roll-out a strongman of their own. Former Premier Campbell Newman. The only LNP leader to actually win a QLD election. Even if it was for only one term.
Speaking to the media, on behalf of the LNP leader David Crisafulli, his former protege, Campbell Newman urged Queenslanders not to get distracted by silly things like abortion rights.
“Trust me” said Newman.
“Just vote for us. Remember the floods? I was great during the floods! David’s like me, just a little shorter. Which I didn’t think was possible, but here we are. Anyway can we stop obsessing over everyone’s physique. Being a strongman isn’t about how much you can bench press. It’s about having the balls to arrest every bloke with tattoos and a motorbike – without fear of human rights lawyers”
“It’s about making tough decisions, like scrapping the resource royalties tax and letting the mining bosses run free. It’s about not letting the feminists interfere with God’s plan for unborn babies. It’s about biting the bullet and sacking half the public service and replacing them with overpaid consultants from massive firms with clear conflicts of interest”
“I urge Queensland women to not get caught up on the abortion stuff. It’s like the bikie VLAD laws. If you aren’t doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about”
“And as for the free lunches, that’s what juvie is for”
