WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Robert Shorten has been thrust into the limelight today.
This comes after allegations surfaced that the twin brother of the Opposition leader Bill Shorten, stole all of the Labor leader’s personality.
Arguably one of Labor’s best-kept secrets, it is believed that the personality hogging has been taking place since the Shortens’ early teens.
Rob Shorten who has been known to regale his friends and colleagues with the odd tale about his triathlons, also reportedly takes a keen interest in reality TV, novelty socks, cufflinks and extra large flat whites.
It has been a long-held medical theory that throughout history that twins often have half the personality of single birth children.
Dr John Paul, The Head of Paediatrics at Royal Betoota Base Hospital, however, explained that it has never been scientifically clear how exactly the splitting of personality actually occurs.
“What we often see is a 75-25 or 70-30 kind of split in terms of personality with twins,” Dr Paul said.
“The Shortens’ are a particularly interesting case though. Because I can’t see how you make up the 100%. I mean Rob, who has a sliver of charisma seems to have the 70%, which would seemingly leave Bill with the remaining 30%.”
“However, I have got no idea where that 30% went, as Bill actually has no personality. It’s a bit of a scientific anomaly really.”
Dr Paul said that there may be the possibility that Rob started hogging it all during teenage years and never stopped.
We contacted Mr Shorten’s office for comment on the matter but he refused to stop chanting ‘Save Medicare.’
His Chief Of Staff then told us that ever since Malcolm has refused to offer any public statements, Mr Shorten has been lost for words.
“It’s been really difficult for Bill. Just saying the opposite of what Malcolm says is very hard now,” the staffer said.
“We are working through it though.”
