FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In a meeting of the minds, Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack has today excitedly taken the Prime Minister for a bit of a tour.
The Deputy Prime Minister and prominent God-botherer Michael McCormack has walked the PM around a rapidly emptying dam, to show him where all of his prayers can be stored.
McCormack has also called on the NSW State Government to immediately convert the Desalination Plant at Kurnell to an industrial Prayer Factory to solve Australia’s drought.
This comes after ScoMo yesterday told the nation that the power of prayer can help those suffering from drought and bushfires.
McCormack earlier this year suggested that existing proof of climate change couldn’t be trusted because, unlike the contents of the bible, early climate data could be inaccurate.
He then added that if farmers wanted rain they should pray for it.
Under the $17b plan, the current desalination equipment would be removed and replaced with two 45m-tall aluminium hands, which in times of need would be brought together by huge hydraulic rams in the internationally-recognised symbol of Christian prayer. At the same time, a 60,000W sound system would blast pre-recorded prayers up to heaven so that God will hear them and dispense rain accordingly.
“It’s very simple actually”, McCormack explained “The prayer power from these simulated hands is much greater because of the huge surface area. Plus when God looks down he will be able to see them much easier and the sound system is so much louder than all of the farmers praying at the same time. Not to mention that some people might be praying to… you know; another, ummmm, you know.”
The Deputy PM added that the new facility could also help disperse the rain when it arrived, as the giant hands could potentially be used to give rainclouds a helpful push to regional areas.
“It’s time to stop listening to scientists; the only thing they’ve given us is climate change, which is wreaking havoc, even though it doesn’t exist. The only sure-fire way to guarantee rain is to pray for it because that always works; eventually.”
