CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
THOSE DRUNKEN TOOTHLESS HICKS!! Barnaby Joyce says his party won’t be “forced into a corner” on the government’s proposed pathway to net zero carbon emissions by 2050.
This comes after a week of Morrison trying to gently convince the Nationals to support his overnight decision to start listening to the scientists that have been tearing their hair out for the last twenty years.
However, the Nats say they feel like they are being rushed, after Scotty From Marketing couldn’t help but commit to attending the global climate conference in Glasgow next month – out of fear that he might miss yet another opportunity to be photographed with Joe Biden and the Queen.
The Nationals say they may not decide before next month’s international climate conference, as MPs grow wary that the current plan does not insulate multibillion-dollar tax-dodging mining corporations from the economic harm of Australians finding a cheaper and more environmentally friendly way to power the gird.
The Nationals party room was yesterday presented with the government’s climate change plan, but failed to come to a decision after hours of wrangling over it, in what many MPs describe as the longest day they’ve ever worked in their life.
But Mr Joyce said his party would not be forced to decide by the deadline, and his Members couldn’t give a fuck if Morrison has to fly over to Scotland empty handed.
However, to the horror of the Liberal Party, this ‘ongoing discussion’ appears to now be dead in the water after the ACT Government re-emerged from lockdowns over the weekend.
Scotty From Marketing was reportedly distraught this afternoon, after finding out that the Nationals had left the building, and every single former lawyer and tax accountant in their party were already at the pub sucking back some tax-payer funded piss and talking about rugby union.
“No…” muttered Scotty, after his staffers informed him that Barnaby and the boys have ditched any constructive discussion and decided to drown themselves in a plethora of ice cold schooners.
“NO!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!”
“They can’t go to the pub!!! I’ll never get an answer!!!!”
“What do I tell Boris and Joe!!!!”
“NOW I’LL NEVER GET MY SUBMARINES!!!!!”
