CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Age limits for pornography websites will be enforced right across Australia, the Albanese government has confirmed.
This will include the introduction “age-assurance technologies” to reduce children’s exposure to harmful content, after growing concern from experts that there are a lot of young people in Australia who are expecting to lose their virginity in 40-person interracial BDSM gang-bang.
This means teenagers will now have to use cunningness and wit in their efforts to see a pair of bare breasts, like the generations before them.
This also means that Australia’s Special Broadcasting Service (SBS) is set to experience a spike in late night ratings.
With even more Australian audiences rapidly transitioning from analogue TV broadcasts to streaming TV services, the most loyal free-to-air viewers remains the elderly Southern European migrants.
With foreign language news updates, foreign films, soccer broadcasts and Indigenous programming – The ‘SBS Households’ as they are known, have long remained the most committed audiences to Australia’s Special Broadcasting Service.
However, the SBS is now bracing for a roaring return from their once most reliable late-night audience.
Teenagers whose parents have left them to house sit overnight.
With the new digitally enforced age limits on pornography websites, it looks like most formative moments for Australian teenagers will be forged in front of Scandinavian crime thrillers.
Colloquially known as ‘Sex, Boobs, Soccer’ the SBS has also provided many first glimpses at late night boobies and the erotic cinematography of their extremely foreign Nordic Noir films that seem to go for 3 hours and have like 40 sex scenes.
The SBS is preparing for a spike in both streaming numbers and traditional ratings, however, Australians have faith that if the humble public broadcaster can handle a FIFA World Cup without crashing, they’ll be able to sustain this.
