LOUIS BURKE Culture | CONTACT

Although Prime Minister of Australia and professional seat warmer Scott Morrison has been the nation’s leader since August 2018, the nation is wondering exactly when he will be called out for giving himself the nickname ‘ScoMo.’

Since being sworn in, the PM has received a lot of criticism from the public for his focus on religious discrimination, lack of action on climate change and being the sort of person who says “spendings thanks” when paying on card, but has managed to dodge criticism relating to the fact that he was definitely the first person to refer to him as ‘ScoMo.’

Traditionally used to belittle someone you care about, nicknames can be an essential part of belonging to a group, which is why it seems highly unlikely that a Liberal Prime Minister would have one, let alone one they like and use on social media.

A spokesperson from the PM’s office rejects the claims the member for Cook came up with his own nickname, stating the nickname was “actually started by someone cool like Banksy or something” and that it was previously “DJ ScoMo until he left that life behind.”

A source from inside the Liberal party, Patrick Dutton (real name changed), confirmed Prime Minister Morrison does have a nickname they all use, just never to his face.

“It starts with a C,” stated the featureless whistle blower.

“And it ends with that cunt getting voted out.”

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