CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After rapidly embracing a new model of staunch Indigenous activism, Uncle Tony Abbott has this weekend experienced the same discrimination faced by many of his black constituents.
The newly-appointed Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs says he was arrested for no good reason while walking home from the South Sydney Rabbitohs semi-finals clash against the St George Illawarra Dragons.
Using his one phone call from the watch house this morning, Uncle Tony Abbott explained to our reporters that he was unable to hail a cab from outside the Sydney Olympic Stadium last night, and was forced to make his 32 kilometre journey home to Manly on foot.
Despite only having two and a half Premium Light shandies, the Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs was not able to get a taxi driver to stop for him, even when their overhead lights were switched on.
“Three guesses as to why that was happening” stated a sullen Uncle Tony.
“I can stop the boats but I can’t stop a cab.”
According to the Member for Warringah, he briefly considered the idea of taking public transport but opted not to, remembering an incident when he was racially abused by drunk racegoers last weekend.
“Next thing I know the bullyman is there with the blue and reds. I was just trying to get home, fuck ya” said Uncle Tony X.
The NSW Police Force stand behind their decision to stop the high-profile Northern Beaches elder for jaywalking, referring to the state’s traffic infringement laws.
Upon handing over his ID and and having it run through the system, police then decided to incarcerate the Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs, after discovering a log of unpaid parking fines.
The officers behind the arrest say they are unable to explain the bruising on Uncle Tony’s face and refuse to comment on his suspected internal injuries this morning.
It is believed that Uncle Tony will remain in police custody until the Aboriginal Legal Service sends a dreadlocked 23-year-old volunteer to represent him against these charges.
