CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
As the Albanese Government prepares for the dogfight that will be the 2025 Federal Election, all eyes are on the swing seats.
The Coalition are currently polling ahead of Labor at 51-49. That’s according to a national Newspoll conducted in early February, from a sample of 1,244 Australia respondents.
This means that Labor need to be putting the right people forward in the nation’s most marginal seats. As they learnt in 2022, the party can longer risk the blowback that comes from parachuting outsiders into working class seats. Labor’s candidates need to be local and authentic.
This comes as the Liberal Party continues their lead in the polls, as the cost-of-living crisis becomes the number one concern for financially distressed Australian voters.
As of earlier this month, the predicted primary votes now sit at 38% Coalition (down one), 31% Labor (steady), 12% Greens (steady), 7% One Nation (steady) and 12% for all Others (up one).
However, there is still an entire election campaign to get through, and Opposition leader Peter Dutton has not really been introduced to the average voter just yet. With a potential rate cut around the corner, will voters opt to back Labor’s steady hand approach to the economy? Or will they let off some steam by voting for the complete opposite?
With both Labor and an Independent candidate making ground in Peter Dutton’s own electorate of Northside Brisbane, the Opposition leader will need to be fairly present in his own backyard if he wants to stay in Parliament.
Will this prevent him getting out and about across Australia to pitch himself to swing voters? Would having Peter Dutton isolated to North Brisbane actually improve the Liberal Party’s chances elsewhere in the country? Time will tell.
All that Labor can do now is hope that they have selected suitable local candidates in their most crucial seats. But who are these people?
The following list outlines in great detail the 7 archetypes for aspiring Labor candidates in Australia’s most marginal Federal divisons.
Elderly Scotsman Who Worked On The Railroads And Thinks Kevin Rudd Was Too Right-Wing
Likes: Financial security for the working class
Dislikes: Bosses cutting corners on safety
Marital Status: Married to a full blown communist
Political Priority: To convince his beloved Catholic Church to remember who they are
Chances of Pre-Selection: Low, could be a start for the senate though
Suburban Female Health Worker Who Is Not Rich Enough To Be A Teal
Likes: Penny Wong
Dislikes: The housing crisis
Marital Status: Renting in a share-house at 32
Political Priority: Abolishing HECS indexation
Chances of Pre-Selection: Fairly high, if she can erase her entire social media footprint
2nd-Generation Immigrant Whose Entire Family Has Been Tormented By Peter Dutton For Two Decades
Likes: Cardi B
Dislikes: Peter Dutton with every fibre of her being
Marital Status: Married to a politically illiterate tradesman, 3 kids
Political Priority: Crushing Peter Dutton
Chances of Pre-Selection: High. Some of the older powerbrokers think she’s great for optics
Outback Loyalist Who Has The Exact Same Politics As Bob Katter
Likes: Nationalising state assets
Dislikes: Privatising state assets
Marital Status: Married to a school teacher, 5 kids
Political Priority: Letting Aboriginal communities manage the overpopulation of crocs
Chances of Pre-Selection: High, if they even bother with this seat
Rich Inner-City White Boy Who Grew Up In Singapore And Thinks Trade Unions Are Irrelevant
Likes: Mythologising Labor Prime Ministers he was too young to remember
Dislikes: Bogans
Marital Status: Married to an heiress
Political Priority: Performative recognition of minority groups that he has nothing to do with
Chances of Pre-Selection: Extremely high
Central Queensland CFMEU Heavy With Eyebrow Scars From Alcohol-Fuelled Violence
Likes: The North Queensland Cowboys
Dislikes: Rich Inner-City White Boy Who Grew Up In Singapore And Thinks Trade Unions Are Irrelevant
Marital Status: Unmarried, could be gay, but the Ian Roberts kind of gay
Political Priority: Stopping workers from dying in workplace accidents
Chances of Pre-Selection: Extremely low
Outer-Metropolitan Steel Magnolia Who Would Actually Get On Quite Well With Pauline
Likes: Australia Day
Dislikes: Arrogant men
Marital Status: Married to a boilermaker, 5 kids, 19 grandkids
Political Priority: Not letting kids go hungry
Chances of Pre-Selection: Extremely high, but zero chance of a cabinet position
