CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Acting Prime Minister of Australia, Barnaby Joyce MP has decided that that’s enough for today.
At 10:30 this morning, the King Of New England went from a muzzled Nationals backbencher to the most powerful politician in Australia – in less than forty minutes.
With Scott Morrison still locked down in post-travel quarantine for two more weeks, it seems that this morning was the right time to strike – as Barnaby rallied the troops to oust Michael McCormack and take control of this whole country as acting PM.
However by 5pm, which is the usual knock off for backbenchers, Barnaby was ready to wrap this show up.
“Okay. This has been fun” said the Acting PM.
“All you lefties have settled down and the novelty has worn off”
“I’m running this shit again and I get to decide when we go home.
“And a six hour day is pretty good for day one”
The rest of the Lower House nodded in agreement with Barnaby Joyce, as their partisan virtue signalling was overshadowed by their deep desires to bludge on the tax-payer dollar.
“Not a bad crack, I spose” shouted Greens Leader, Adam Bandt from way back up near where Barnaby used to sit.
“Yeah. I’m pretty keen to hit the pub too, I spose” said Opposition leader, Anthony Albanese.
“Watching all of this Morrison-lose-complete-control-of-his-cabinet-while-sycophanting-with-Joe-Biden-and-Boris is making me really thirsty”
“Well that might do us, Gentleman, what do we reckon? Mooseheads?” asked Barnaby, the acting Prime Minister.
Bandt, Albo and Barnaby all turn to Katter, the only other party leader in the Lower House.
“Do they serve Paul’s Dairy Milk in tall glasses with a nip of white rum at Mooseheads?” asked Katter.
“I think so” said Barnaby.
“I remember having one there during my bad boy days, between missos”
“I know they’ve the pre-mixed Bundy and cola draught on tap. Shit sends ya mad”
Katter nodded.
“Well what are we doing here then?”
At time of press the committed wowser, Scott Morrison was stuck in hotel quarantine and frantically texting every member of his cabinet demanding to know what Barnaby was getting up to without around.
They had all switched their phones to flight mode and were perusing the steak specials.
