CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Australian Prime Minister has today finally decided to act on the growing community concerns about social media usage amongst children.
Aside from the very real and well-documented danger of children being groomed by predators, there is also the long term damage that social media can cause growing brains.
Namely, the fact that these algorithms are very capable of destroying the neurological reward systems of young people with a constant stream of hardcore pornography and snuff videos.
Children aged up to 16 could be banned from social media, as the Prime Minister Albanese promises legislation to impose a minimum age to use platforms like Facebook and Instagram by the end of this year.
This announcement has been met with fury from teenagers who are already dependent on the endorphin sugar-hits that the social media platforms provide in their effort to steal every minute of attention from every possible user on the planet.
It has also upset creepy adult conspiracists, who are growing concerned that even the slightest regulation of social media could result in a reduction of the extreme far-right propaganda and misinformation that is rapidly dividing and destroying Australian society.
This may be the first bipartisan policy to enter Parliament since Labor took government, as even the Liberal Party can’t be seen to push back against any law that is aimed at protecting children.
“What we’re looking at is how you deliver it,” Mr Albanese told ABC News Breakfast.
“We know that it’s not simple and it’s not easy. Otherwise, governments would have responded before.”
“So that’s why I’m meeting with the smartest brains in Australia to try and find a way to put a former fringe NRL player inside every single phone”
“When children try to access online platforms they are not allowed to access, there will be a mild-mannered Samoan man waiting to check their IDs”
“If they aren’t of age, they will be directed elsewhere. Perhaps to a skate park or footy oval, or wherever the hell else kids used to spend their time before their eyeballs became a commodity for tax-dodging tech bros”
