CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s financial emancipation continues to make headlines this week, after it was also revealed that on top of owning a nice house, he also flies at the front of the plane.
While literally ever Prime Minister before him have lived in much bigger and much more expensive houses, it is different for Albanese. Because he was poor growing up. So to go from a housing commission flat to a $4m beach house is much more noteworthy.
Journalists and political opponents remain unsure if a houso kid could even amount to anything notable except for politics in this country? Albanese certainly wouldn’t have ever been a titan of industry, like Malcolm Turnbull, who created an email company. Or Scott Morrison, who was responsible for that tourism ad with the swear words and a half-naked Lara Bingle.
But regardless of whether Albanese has earned the money to own a house that costs twice as much as the average Sydney house – the questions that journalists are asking is: has he earned the right?
All of these scandalous nice things would have hidden from the public, if not for the tireless work from the brave journalists and Nine Newspapers and NewsCorp, who have diligently reported on every single thing that is now different in his life compared to when he was a povo wog kid in the housos.
Many will argue that Albanese and his new wife can afford this because they have worked as top-level diplomats and public servants their entire lives, and have no financial dependents, and actually need to retire in a house that is big enough to be surveilled by the Australian Federal Police.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the working man doesn’t get to live in a house as nice as Albanese and his wife.
The fact that they want to be near her parents, and have sold both of their investment properties to do so, is less of a story. In fact, it’s irrelevant. Because Albanese bought a nice house while the average voter cannot buy a nice house.
This disgraceful misconduct has been likened to the time when Scott Morrison fled Australia during the bushfires, for an extravagant Hawaiian holiday with his family.
It’s for this reason, Albanese must do as much as he can to avoid any similarities with his predecessor Scott Morrison, whose otherwise flawless legacy as a much-loved political leader was spoiled by this minor Hawaii hiccup.
In order to keep the media happy, Albanese has told Parliament he will no longer be travelling in the Prime Ministerial vehicle that was left to him by Scott Morrison.
Scotty’s $500,000 BMW 7-series has been put up for sale on Gumtree.
Albanese is now bringing back the bulletproof 1991 Holden Caprice that once cruised the streets of Canberra during the Keating years.
“This Series II white Holden Caprice was based on a VQ Commodore station wagon” said Albanese, while fronting a press conference full of young journalists who have not stopped quizzing him about interest rates since on of them went viral on TikTok in 2022.
“So I figured that’s a car that most Aussies can relate to”
“The problem is, I don’t think any of modern Australian journalists even know what a Commodore is. So this bold statement might be lost on you EV nerds”
“Have any of you even been in a car with an ashtray? I really doubt it. I guess it’s the fact that I wasn’t flying in economy that’s really pissed you off isn’t it”
“Don’t worry. If Rupert keeps you around long enough, you’ll eventually be able to fly up front with Benson and Mckenzie one day”
