CLANCY OVERELL Editor | Contact

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

This comes as the festival of single-use plastic known as Halloween finally concludes.

Right around the Western World, and Japan, shopping centres are being gently serenaded with the seasonal jingles that make people buy more things.

While November marks the earliest stages of the Christmas season, shoppers will be quick to note that themed-chocolates and stockings are already on shelves at the major supermarkets.

At the Christmas headquarters in the North Pole, the machine is in full gear.

After a 30 minute ice bath and 45 minute sauna this morning, the mastermind behind this global phenomena, is ready to get to work.

Santa Claus, or Saint Nikolas as he is known in the countries closer to the North Pole, is making sure everyone knows their roles.

The elves are on the factory floor, the reindeers have returned from adgistment and Mrs Claus is making some top tier egg nogg.

Now all he needs is his balladeers.

“You there!” roars Santa Claus, to one of his many nameless Finnish henchmen.

“To the dungeons. Take someone with you”

“It’s time for Michael and Mariah”

“Unlock their cells and prepare them for defrosting”

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